Carpe Diem

Ten Years Gone

2011-09-08T15:32:00.003-04:00

Here is my original post detailing the horrors of 9/11/2001 for me from the 5th year anniversary:

http://dawn-carpediem-seizetheday.blogspot.com/2006/09/911-end-of-innocence.html

Here also is my blog post containt the 2996 Project links for our friend, John M. Griffin.

http://dawn-carpediem-seizetheday.blogspot.com/2006/09/2996-project-for-911.html

We will never forget you, John.

We will NEVER FORGET any of you.

People who didn't live in the shadow of NY or the Pentagon or even Shanksville, PA cannot know and truly understand the magnitude of how it was to live each day with the smell, the fear, the horror - and how it changed especially NYC permanently.

The Pentagon is fixed. The grass is regrown in the field in PA.

In NYC we still have a huge hole, a gaping wound in our skyline and our hearts that we bear each day. Even when 'something' is there in its place, it will never be our Twin Towers.

be well,
Dawn

All She Wants To Do Is Dance

2011-07-12T15:29:00.006-04:00

So, that is Pumpkin, now 14, graduating from 8th Grade, junior high, and stepping off into the world of high school...

In March we found out Pumpkin was not having growing pains in her feet, ankles and knees, but instead it was a form of systemic arthritis. Since then it is confirmed that Pumpkin has JRA, juvenile rheumatoid arthritis.

Of course, having me as her mom, there was a higher chance of it happening than if I didn't have the lupus etc. Sigh. How do you deal with that? Well, you don't really. You feel like shit. You feel guilty. You feel angry. You feel sad.

Then, you realize none of those emotions - and certainly not the 'blame game' is going to help anyone. Especially, not Pumpkin.

So, you shove all that down and focus on her and her needs, wants and desires and making her life as uncomplicated and easy as you can while coping with a chronic disease.

We have a great pediatric doctor. Her office is also fantastic and I am very happy with their responsiveness and help so far. Believe me - that is half the battle.

We address the symptoms by helping her cope with the pain and anti-inflammation via medicines and we address the disease directly by adding a DMARD (disease modifying anti rheumatic drug), in this case methotrexate. It suppresses her immune system so it will be more difficult for it to attack itself. I, too, am on the same drug once a week.

Pumpkin just started this bigger gun last week with a small dose and this week with her regular dose of 15mgs, and she has tolerated it well and I am happy to say she is feeling better.

Usually, it takes a few weeks for it to kick in, but a lucky few get instant relief. It seems she has been that lucky. :::knocking wood:::

In fact she is walking on the treadmill right now, second day in the row!

The road ahead will not be without its obstacles. However, I will be there paving the way the best way I know how.

I may not be able to bend the universe to my will but I WILL make it quiver a bit when it comes to my babies and making life right for them.

And when she wants to dance... she will.

be well,
Dawn

Vote for me!!!

2010-11-03T12:39:00.004-04:00

Hi everyone! Miss you and love you all! Been crazy busy, kids are good, hubby and I are good too!

Can I ask a favor... Can you vote for my picture to win in a contest? Here is the link... I am picture #2, the cat reading a Kindle, with the book 'Grave Witch', which is AWESOME! Thanks!

Link: http://kalayna.blogspot.com/2010/11/nano-day-2-and-grave-witch-in-wild.html

be well,
Dawn

Since (I've) Been Gone

2010-05-29T15:27:00.008-04:00

Wow, so much has gone on in the last month, and yet, so much has not happened all at the same time. Strange that. Very strange.

Bringing you up to speed... The biggest news by far is that my boys had their Eagle Scout Court of Honor... picture above. They have about 10 plaques and 30 plus letters each from local, state, and national organizations, current and former presidents, vp's, senators, governors etc. It was a really moving ceremony (altho 95 degrees in the school gym) and afterward we had a nice party back at the house!

The Eagle Scout ceremony was the at the end of a string of consecutive weekends of camping and the HUGE spaghetti dinner fund raiser that the Scouts do and my Hubby chairs. And, the Monday right after I went away!

Mom and I went to Atlantic City for her work. This was my 4th May conference with my mom. It was nice. We enjoyed ourselves and I came home with $100 more than I left with! Always a plus! We had nice dinners and fun playing poker machines and lots of slots.

Unfortunately, my health didn't cooperate fully during any of this and by the time I arrived home I was a mess.

Full lupus flare, with the whole peripheral neuropathy thing going on. That is pins/needles/numbness and pain. It was down my entire right side. From the tip of my head to my toes. I have spent the last week tossing and turning, and resting.

I have been experimenting with my meds and with self medicating with a little wine/beer/or liquor to help me sleep. Normally, I wouldn't do this, but I am waiting to get into the new rheumatologist in July. Ack.

This weekend, Memorial Weekend (kudos and thank you to all in the service, past and present) we have nothing much to do. Tomorrow, the boys are heading in to NYC to see the Fleet Week ships and then we have a family BBQ to go to.

Coming soon we have a combination Scout trip and family trip to the Inner Harbor, Baltimore. My dad is coming too (mom and my bil Uncle K will be home) and we are trying to get to a game at Camden Yards on Friday night, Saturday is Fort McHenry, then Hubby and the kids are sleeping on the USS Constellation with the troop. The ship was a former slave ship before being commandeered for the Navy and becoming a war ship in the Civil War and after. Then, Sunday we want to go to the National Aquarium. It is awesome. We visited in 2001 and the kids barely remember it.

As you can imagine, having the Lupus acting up is not going to mesh with the Baltimore weekend plans.

Enter the PREDNISONE. Yes folks, this will be my third round of the dreaded stuff since the holidays. It's a love hate relationship... it works, but the long term side effects are not good. Even in the short term a taper makes you a little nuts, but I need to do it. I need to be in better shape to push my body for the trip.

Things have been hard. Very hard. Lots of tears, lots of frustration. Lots of pain and not enough meds to cope.

It is hard realizing that I am probably not going to be able to do all the things I thought I would do. I want to travel, see the US and Europe, Alaska, Australia. Probably not going to happen. I want to see my grandchildren and do awesome stuff with them... I can barely do stuff with my kids, so that is probably not going to happen. I thought I would go back to school someday for fun... probably not going to happen.

I often feel I am not enough. Not good enough at being a mom, at being a wife, at being a daughter. Lots of little comments and jibes from family seemed to be repeatedly driving that point home. Why isn't this done? Why can't you? Why are you too tired? Why? Why? Why?

They know why. I know why. It sucks for everyone dealing with this chronic illness/disease/pain.

It's been hard.

Yesterday, I was having a particularly bad day and my dad handed me a box. He said it was a Mother's Day gift he bought me but it was on backorder and just arrived. It is a gold heart with rose and a ruby. On the back it says, 'My little girl yesterday, my friend today, my daughter forever'.

Needless to say I was overwhelmed. Lots of tears.

Maybe, life isn't that bad. Maybe the fact that I am blessed with the love of my parents and Hubby and kids is enough. It is has always been enough for me, but...

... even more importantly, maybe I am enough for them. Maybe just maybe.

Hope this finds you well...

Viva la Vida?

2010-04-27T14:16:00.003-04:00

A very important list for those with Rheumatoid Arthritis, and/or Lupus, and/or Fibromyalgia. (aww hell, for any of the auto-immune arthritic diseases)

How not to Cripple Yourself

1. Do not scrub your bathroom tub tile walls until your hands can no longer hold the brush, and your back appears to be stuck in the bent position for the bottom half.

2. Do not do wash in the middle of the night after a long day.

3. Do not do a lot of writing and errands the next day, forgetting that sometimes the swelling and pain takes a while to set in.

4. DO try to hide the fact that you are crying in frustration and pain for hours and hours.

5. DO take pain killers before you get to that point.

6. DO text/talk with someone who understands and asks the right questions and doesn't say dumb things like 'It will be ok.' (Uncle K, thank you)

7. DO hope/pray/light candles etc that you will get an appointment soon with a new rheumatologist since you really don't like the one you have now.

8. DO go for the yummy! ;-)

9. DO play silly computer or iphones games to distract yourself.

10. DO remember that it won't be ok, but it will get better than right now.

be well...

Thankful Thursday

2010-03-11T14:38:00.005-05:00

I have so much to be thankful for, so many blessings.

However, today, I am in pain, tired and weepy.

I hate that.

So, I got up, took my morning meds, got dressed, ate some food and took a vicodin (which I hate to do), drank 2 coffees, drank an orange juice, checked emails, and crackbook, er Facebook, I mean, and now, I am here.

Weepy because I am so blessed. Weepy because I really wish I could ENJOY my blessings more.

Today lupus/rheumatoid arthritis is kicking my ass.

Anyhow...

1. Coffee. Thank you, Juan Valdez. Green Mountain. Keurig.

2. My kids. My life. My heart. My reason.

3. My parents. Dad's 70th Birthday was yesterday. We had a surprise dinner for him on Saturday night, just adults, with my cousin Karol and my sister/bff Kathy. He is their surrogate dad in many ways and they wouldn't miss it for the world. It was nice. Last night was dinner out with the kids and Uncle K, who couldn't make it on Saturday due to work. :-)

4. Reading. Oh how I love to read! AND, I am so blessed that my kids ALL have the reading bug too! YAY!

5. Tonight, Fuzzy will have his Eagle Scout Board of Review... and he should be elected as one with no problem! The big public ceremony will be in May and he and Hammer will have that together!!! I am so proud!

6. Libby. She is snuggled on the floor right next to me as I type. If I get up, she follows, and then reclines near me, wherever I may go. Nothing like a dog for loyalty!

7. The cats! Oh the fun they are having with mylar balloons from dad's birthday floating about! They are so funny!

8. American Idol. I enjoy watching it each season. By extension, I am grateful for music. It is just such a wonderful gift and part of life. It can help lift you up, pump you up, express love, hate, frustration or fun!

9. Piano. I love listening to Pumpkin play piano! She is so gifted... and doesn't get it! LOL

10. My friends. Thank you, your support means the world to me. Truly.

be well...

Wordless Wednesday

2010-03-10T14:31:00.003-05:00

Going to cheat today and say...

Happy 70th Birthday, Daddy!!!

Blaze of Glory

2010-03-09T17:01:00.003-05:00

Fuzzy finished his Eagle Scout project this weekend. Phew!

Stay tuned tomorrow for a Wordless Wednesday picture that will highlight his efforts!

Warning: Mommy braggin' below! LOL

Fuzzy collected items over a two week period at 3 locations Mon - Fri and 2 locations on Saturdays. (two schools, and police station)

In addition to 2 huge boxes of items, also collected was over $420.

Who is to receive this windfall?

American soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Regardless of your personal feelings about the political reasons/situations that resulted in our deployment of these soldiers - they are there. At the whim of our government, putting themselves on the line every day. They deserve our support, and if we can give them a little comfort - that too.

The Letter from Home Program at lettersfromhome.org will be the liason between Fuzzy and the soldiers.

I am very proud of my boy.

This Thursday will be his board of review, and barring any unforseen difficulty, Fuzzy will become an Eagle Scout at that time, soon to join Hammer in the formal presentation at the Court of Honor in May. :-)

Fuzzy has had a very rough month too, after just getting over an ear infection in January and injuring his leg/knee with an almost break and tearing the ligments, last week he was sidelined by a bad cold that went straight to bad bronchitis and asthma flare up.

This week he is completing the final Eagle Scout Project details, making up school work, arranging to make up NJ State school testing, and serving our township in Youth Month! The students who volunteer are assigned two counterparts in the municipal government. One is a township employee, the other is a member of the Mayor and Council. Very cool opportunity. Fuzzy and Pumpkin are both participating this year!

Tonight is a meeting of the Planning Board and Fuzzy will be attending.

My youngest son and middle child is maturing into a fine young man.

I will tell myself that over and over as he gives me that teenaged rolled eyes face and says 'I knowwwww' everytime I try to remind him of something.

Sigh.

be well...

Thankful Thursday

2010-03-04T14:33:00.003-05:00

How did I do three entries last week and miss Thankful Thursday?

A good question, for which, I have no answer. :::hanging head:::

:::perks up:::

But, I'm baaaaaaaack!

1. Coffee. Oh yes... yum.

2. Asthma meds. For Fuzzy. Very thankful indeed, because my son would not be able to breathe and might be one of thousands of children each year who die in asthma related deaths, usually because they are not being treated for it. (just one shameful aspect of our stupid healthcare system)

3. My husband. I have been going through a particularly difficult time of late for a variety of reasons that I am not going to recount here and now. Suffice it to say that much of it is relating to coping (or not) with chronic illness/pain. ALSO, suffice it to say that I have been, at times, difficult to deal with. I know, I know, hard to believe (:::snicker:::) but true. Hubby has been WONDERFUL and patient.

Except for the one lapse where a smart ass comment sent me careening out of the house in the truck, in my jammies, to McD's, but I won't hold that against him. Or mention it again. I don't think. :::shrug:::

4. Uncle K. He won't read this as he is computer deficient, but one of my kids will probably tell him, THANK YOU for being a good friend.

5. My parents, as always, for all their help.

6. My kids. The reason I put up their picture yesterday for my Wordless Wednesday post is because they are MY LIFE. MY HEART.

7. Our quirky humor and family life.

OMG, you have to hear this... too funny. So, Pumpkin Muffin was being told this joke that had to do all this math. She got each and every answer right and quickly, then at the end she had to 'QUICK, name a vegetable!'

Her answer: Banana!

Yep, that's my Distiguished Honor Student! Just brings a tear to your eye... as you realize our future is doomed!!! LOL

8. My friend Donna, a childhood friend, that I have reconnected with on Facebook! After many email conversations, we are getting together for coffee tomorrow! YAY! :-)

9. Books. This week I have read, Kalayna Price 'Twice Dead', Jane Austen 'Sense and Sensibility', Stephen Coonts 'The Disciple' and I am reading Mark Henry 'Battle of the Network Zombies' (for free on kindle this month!). The latter has had me laughing out loud so hard, I had tears rolling from my eyes! (A warning though, the book has graphic language, violence and sex - all done hilariously, but it wouldn't be everyone's cup of tea!)

10. American Idol! Not sure who is my absolute fave yet, but I am enjoying it!

Okay... time to go! Pumpkin Muffin will be walking in the door any second and will demand all my attention to discuss her day prior to starting homework!

be well...

Wordless Wednesday

2010-03-03T17:24:00.002-05:00

Wordless Wednesday!

2010-02-24T14:26:00.000-05:00

Daughters

2010-02-23T20:24:00.003-05:00

Pumpkin can be a force of nature.

Sometimes she just does not understand why the world will not bend to her will.

Today, it is her honors pre-algebra that is giving her fits. It isn't that she can't understand or learn what is required; she just doesn't think that she needs this particular knowledge at all or the way her teacher wants her to learn it and she wants the math curriculum to be changed.

NOW.

Pumpkin also is angry that she has her period again. She yelled earlier 'Who's stupid design idea was it that we get this thing for YEARS before we need it and for YEARS after we need it?'

As a peri-menopausal woman of 44, I agree wholeheartedly, but that isn't where I was going with this post. LOL

Although tempted to just shake my head at Pumpkin's stubborness and blow it off, maybe, just maybe, her stubborn unacceptance of these and many other inconveniences/occurences in her life will serve her well.

Maybe far better than my own quiet, calm, acceptance that was part of my personality growing up.

I guess only time will tell, and I am in no rush to find out. There is plenty of time for reflection on it all years from now when she is an adult and I am in a rocking chair, maybe with a few grandkids nearby.

And, I am enjoying the show too much to wish it away too quickly.

be well...

Tik Tok

2010-02-21T16:26:00.003-05:00

Tempus fugit. Time flies. Youth is wasted on the young.

All so true.

But, you don't really get it until you are of a certain age.

I remember my mom telling me all the time when I was a kid and a teen, that each year that passes gets faster and faster. I thought that was the most ridiculous statement I ever heard! A year is a year! Period. 365 days.

Somewhere in my mid-thirties I started to get it. Now, I know it is true.

So, what to do? How do live life to its fullest, to the utmost of your ability when you are saddled with chronic illness that impedes it?

How do you do it when the mind and heart is willing but the flesh is too weak, too painful, too impaired?

How do you not become endlessly frustrated? Like the Greek legend of Sisyphus, pushing the gigantic rock up the hill and having it fall back down on you crushing you for all eternity OVER and OVER again?

How?

Oh. Were you expecting me to have some wise and wonderful answer to give? Some glib answer, or pollyanna-ish retort saying 'don't worry, be happy'?

Because if you were expecting that of me, hoping to read that today, you are in the wrong place.

Nope. I don't know how not to be frustrated because I am. I am frustrated. I am mad. I AM Sisyphus. I have good days, but know they will only be followed by bad eventually. I have bad days, knowing that the good will come too.

It is a roller coaster as chronic disease always is and I am always either on the hill ticking up to a high or crashing down to a new low.

It is very similar to dealing with death/grief and the stages of it. Anger, denial, bargaining, and acceptance, over and over and over.

There are days I want to scream, wail and keen, 'MAKE IT STOP, LET ME OFF'. Like now. Like today.

I wish that it could be different. I keep hoping for the next great drug to try that may be a magic wand, but truly, no magic wand will ever exist. At least not in my lifetime. The drugs will work and then they won't. There is always hope though, and I do cling to that. I have to do so. The alternative is less pleasant.

I see how easy it would be to spiral into a deep and lasting depression. I really do. The darkness is always there. Just nipping at the heels of the light.

I am in email loop with a group of women some of whom have been dealing with this disease for close to 30 years. Most of them are in the 60's, some in their 50's and one in her 70's, but they all have the same frustrations and maybe some more wisdom. We share each and every day about our lives, and our disease, and our coping or lack there of, and we know that no one else really 'get it' except each other. We cling to that. We have to because we need each other.

I haven't shared with my Loopies (our name for ourselves) my latest crash on the coaster. I don't know why. They will read this blog post and they will know it happened and maybe I'll be ready to talk about it soon.

I am not ready now. I want to get off the coaster.

I want the life that I thought I would have by now. I want the years to slow down because I will never be able to fit in all the things I want to do before I die. I want to take care of my parents, physically and monetarily and emotionally, instead of them taking care of me.

I want the ride to stop.

But it won't. Sigh.

Here's to hoping that soon I start to hear that ticking sound. You know the one I mean? The ticking sound that the roller coaster makes as it starts to pull your car to the top again.

be well...

Thankful Thursday

2010-02-18T14:01:00.003-05:00

1. I am thankful to be back on my blog!

2. Thankful that Fuzzy seems to have not broken his leg/knee in his injury yesterday, even if we are cautiously treating it as such.

3. Coffee. Coffee, coffee, coffee.

4. Thankful that my recent head cold/ear infection seems to have resolved itself quickly and on its own.

5. Thankful that at Pumpkin's 13th birthday party hotel sleepover I was able to get 4 hours of sleep. The girls got 2. lol And, very thankful that we got a reduced room rate and the adjoining room free, including breakfast.

6. Thankful that both my parents are alive and relatively healthy, and able to give me help and support with the house and the kids. I don't know how I would ever manage without them.

7. Thankful that both my parents are also my friends. We have fun together and enjoy being together as a family and even just going out as two couples. I am very blessed.

8. Thankful for all the silly things between my hubby and myself that make me laugh. It is so true that just laughing together or with the kids can be full of healing/soothing energy and it helps me cope.

9. That Fuzzy will be doing his Eagle Scout project soon over two weekends, and he and Hammer will be able to have their Court of Honor together in May! YAY!

10. Thankful for friends that in person and online make my life better. The support, love and consideration helps me cope. Coping can sometimes mean whining, complaining, being cranky and sad. Sometimes it means laughing, sharing and hugging. It's great to have pals to share the good and the bad.

11. Thankful for Facebook. Mindless games help me cope with pain and stress. Reconnecting and staying connected with old friends and new so easily is just a wonderful blessing. We are so lucky for technology that aids us in this way. Yes, you have to wary and set your security settings well and all, but it is worth the time and effort!

12. Thankful that Libby is moving better with her arthritis now that we are giving her buffered aspirin twice a day. :-) Thankful that she and the cats give us so much joy.

Well, that is it for today...

be well...

Surrender

2010-01-27T13:36:00.005-05:00

I have my own version of Fantasy Island.

I am on a gorgeous tropical island. There is no Tatoo, just me screaming to the heavens, 'Da pain, Da pain!'

With that, a shirtless Wolverine (Hugh Jackman, for the uninitiated in comic based movies) arrives at my side, waves his beefcake arms and...

POOF!

The pain disappears, I return to my pre-diseases self (lose near about 80 lbs and some wrinkles), turn to my Hubby and kids laughing, and we head to the beach to the live happily ever after.

Yeah. NOT LIKELY TO HAPPEN.

So, instead, I realize today that yes, after suffering with this nightmare flare for the last week and a half (although it has been building longer) I will give in and go for the prednisone taper.

Surrender.

I hate taking the vicodin but I have been and you know its bad when doubling up ain't cutting it. That was always the benchmark that my original rheumy recommended.

For those who don't like TMI, avert your eyes now, for the brave, stay for a glimpse more.

It has been so bad that I have been avoiding washing my hair. Today, I suffered thru it the first time since Sunday. It was awful. Elbows screaming while shampooing and rinsing and conditioning. Feet hurting from the tension of clinging to my balance.

Thank heavens I am blond and sparse in the hair department. No leg shaving happening this week either. I could go for about 3 weeks before anyone would ever notice. BUT, I know.

Usually nothing stops me from shaving the 15 stubbly hairs under my arm, because Hubby HATES hair. It's a thing with him. Actually gags when they show the girls on Survivor with underarm hair. I laugh at him. Anyhow, I always, always, always do that shave - unless it is in the midst of the flare from hell.

Yep. No shaving the pits today. Bending the elbows more than I had to do for the hair? No way. Holding that small handle in my sore hands? Nah uh. Not gonna happen.

Yep. Time to surrender.

Thankfully, I have the prednisone in the house. Will probably do 60-40-30-20-10 -5mgs. I won't sleep the first night because of the jitters. Second night, I may get some winks of sleep but it will be fitful and full of nightmares. By 24 hours in I will become voraciously hungry. And, thirsty which means lots of potty trips. Ugh.

BUT, but about day 3 I will start to realize... wow, my joints are not as sore and I am able to move better and with less pain.

Yay.

New rheumy thinks this is more Lupus and Fibro than RA. Old rheumy thought more RA, maybe lupus, probably Fibro too.

I think it all SUCKS.

Surrender.

Thank heavens for the COFFEE.

be well...

Thankful Thursday... yeah yeah yeah, it's Friday again...

2010-01-15T14:22:00.003-05:00

:::sigh:::

I have round 3 of the 'Head Cold of Doom'. That was for you, Hammer. LOL

Apparently, the germs morphed when Hammer got it and he was able pass it back to me so by Tuesday I was a blubbering, nose blowing, sneezing coughing mess. Still same today...

I am hopeful that tomorrow will be better. Please. Really. Let it be better. I try to be good. Really really good.

1. Coffee. 'Nuff said.

2. Puffs. Yeah. My nose is that red.

4. Vaseline. It soothes the above nose.

5. Chapstick. Lips chapped too.

6. My new pj's from Land's End. Best Christmas present ever when you are repeatedly sick and wearing them nonstop. All day. And, night. Yeah, it's been like that.

7. My dad. He bought me my favorite donut yesterday from Dunkin' Donuts. He is the best. Truly. :-)

8. My dad again. On another errand after dinner he bought me my favorite potato chips. He rocks. And, he obviously feels sorry about the pathetic sneezing, nose blowing, hacking mess of a human I have been stuck as for the last 7 weeks on and off. Thanks, Daddy.

9. Books and computer. You have kept me sane.

10. Nyquil. Cherry. You give me 'sound' sleep for about 4 hours... ahhhh

Okay... so that is the 'sick' themed thankfuls for this week!

I said this on Facebook... whatever I did in my last life must have been awful because I am paying for it now! :-/

I have one serious thankful...

11. Fuzzy's ultrasound was negative for appendicitis and gall stones and all we seem to be dealing with is a little nervous stomach. Which sucks, but it is better than anything requiring surgery.

be well...

Thankful Thursday (yes, I know it is Friday... LOL)

2010-01-08T14:59:00.006-05:00

So,I was all excited that we were going to get snow today... but we didn't. Just an inch of nuisance. Feh. Gimme a real snow storm please!

I am late, but better late than never, and I am always ready to count my blessings!

1. Coffee. Yep. After fighting bronchitis twice this holiday season and having this congestion linger on much too long, coffee is the only way my brain and body seem to be waking up. And, we had that uber cold spell in the 20's and my steaming cup of coffee kept the chill away! :-)

2. Family. I was able to see most of my family and friends over the holidays and I really enjoyed seeing everyone.

3. My parents. My Mom and Dad who spoiled us all at the holidays!

4. Fuzzy's new bowling ball! His first two practice games were a 224, a new high for him, and a 168! Very nice!

5. Farmville! Great for hours of enjoyment while hacking up a lung and wishing you could sleep.

6. Facebook! Recently, I it has been a blast! One evening this week about 6 of my friends from high school and I had a really giggly silly girl conversation and it was so much fun!

7. Books. I highly recommend the new Steve Berry 'The Paris Vendetta'. Awesome! Also the new Jeff Shaara 'No Less Than Victory' his final in the WWII trilogy. Fabulous. On a lighter note also good reads Wendy Roberts 'Dead and Kicking' and Charlaine Harris 'Grave Secret'.

8. Kindle. I love my Kindle. My daddy bought it for me last year and even though there are certain authors I still want in a hardcover book, there are plenty I don't and read on my Kindle which is such a delight for my hands!!! :-)

9. Uncle K. Things are still not completely settled for him, but they are moving forward. Should be all done soon. I am thankful for the time he spends with my kids and being a friend to Hubby and myself.

10. Libby, Susie, Tina and Pumpkin. My dog and 3 cats. They always provide me with comfort, but this holiday season, lots of laughs too. Lots of cat fights over the tree skirts etc... very amusing!

Well, signing off now!

be well...

Cold as Ice

2010-01-04T12:51:00.005-05:00

Damn! Hate to start off 2010 with a swear, but it is COLD outside!

Yep, a balmy 22 degrees here in NJ!

I plan on staying in the house with multiple cups of coffee to keep me warm!

Oh... wait before we go any further...

Happy New Year!

There. I feel much better.

Speaking of feeling better... I am, but let me explain. First, Fuzzy was really sick and that got the asthma all going. Of course, I got it and had bronchitis before the holidays and just started to be better at Christmas.

Christmas was great - family, friends, love, laughing, happy kids, food etc.

Then, we went shopping the day after Christmas and this little kid was hacking, coughing, and running her booger ridden hands all over everything. I purelled (I know it isn't a real verb; I don't care) myself and the family.

BUT, two days later, I started my relapse! Just in time for our trip to NYC! ACK! But, I put on my big girl panties and we had a wonderful day! Saw the Radio City Christmas Spectacular (thanks mom and dad), had a great lunch with Kathy, her Hubby, my nephew, J, my mom, dad, Hubby and the kids! We saw the tree at Rockefeller Center and went to St. Patrick's Cathedral. Saw the window decorations on 5th Avenue. A wonderful day.

Came home and allowed the bronchitis to beat me up. I am just turning the corner NOW, and starting to feel better! YAY!

Good thing, because we have a busy week! Fuzzy has 2 bowling matches! He is on the Junior Varsity team as a freshman for his high school!

ANYHOW, that is my quick update for all of you in the blogosphere!!!

I am back. Yes, I mean it. I will update at least once a week, I promise!!! Just so you know I mean it... I swear upon my COFFEE! LOL

be well...

Fa la la la la... Holly Crap, I'm BUSY!!!

2009-12-14T13:12:00.002-05:00

I love my blog... I really do! And, I love all of you, my faithful blog readers!

However, I am really busy, a good busy, but as you can see - the blog has been neglected! So, I am going to sign off for 2009 with promises that I WILL be back in 2010!!!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

May your holiday season be filled

with the love of family and friends and

the hope of peace in the new year to come!

Dawn and family

Thankful Thursday

2009-10-29T14:56:00.005-04:00

What started out to be a crazy overscheduled week really settled down rather nicely!

I went to the new rheumatologist yesterday with Hubby. I was not happy to have to go to a male doc, as I have found that female docs tend to be more understanding and in tune. However, I found the new rheumy very understanding and he really listened and heard all my concerns.

It was actually great having a new set of eyes on my issues. He did xrays and a sonogram of my hands and wrists, right there in the office, along with a complete blood workup! I loved one stop shopping!! I usually have to run to one place for xrays and another for blood.

I have a lot of neuropathy issues, always have, his fresh eyes have given us a new plan of attack as well as another diagnosis. He is confident that Fibromyalgia is also rearing its ugly head in my body. Not surprising as it goes hand in hand with Lupus and RA.

The plan is to try Lyrica which will address the neuropathies. The numbing, tingling, weakness and balance issues. As I have mentioned, MS has been ruled out before, and we are sticking with that assumption unless there is a reason to revisit it.

Also to be added will be Provigil, a medication that will help with what to me is the most debilitating part of the disease - fatigue. And, also the cognitive issues. Hopefully, I will be sleeping better with Lyrica and the Provigil will do its magic and I will be like a new person in a few months!

I am happy to have a plan of attack! And, I visit him again on 12/1.

Okay... on to my blessings! :-)

1. New rheumy. So far so good! And, a plan. I like plans.

2. Hubby! Home with me yesterday for the doctors, which was a very long comprehensive 3 hour visit. BUT, today he surprised me by staying home again! Yay!

3. Piano. Pumpkin is having her lesson as I type this... I love it! Christmas carols... have to get ready!

4. Hammer. We have spent this week preparing his application for Eagle Scout and planning his project. Part of that process was gathering letters of recommendation for Hammer. There has been an overwhelming outpouring of love and respect for him. :-)

Kathy, Karol, Dave, Bill, K, you all overwhelmed me with your letters. Thank you. Mom and Dad and Hubby... perfect and just as I expected... we have such a special boy and I am honored that he is ours.

5. Fuzzy. In the last week or so, he has been trying harder and pulling up into A's. If he wanted to he could have straight 100's... it's all about what you put into it, he has the ability. Just needs to work it!

6. Coffee!!!! After months of coping with our Keurig coffee maker malfunctioning and needing to be tweaked each and every day... My dad gifted Hubby and I with a new one for our anniversary - early! YOU ROCK, Dad! ;-)

Well, I think I have taken up enough of your time!

Go to go farm! LOL

be well...

Fur Elise

2009-10-25T19:13:00.004-04:00

Hello Blogging Buddies!

Not a lot going on here in my little corner of the world.

I am still coping and in a better place thanks to D'Nile. Is that the pyramids I see over there? Yep. Firmly entrenched, I am.

Feh. It works, and it is silly to worry without knowing what to worry about. And, the pain I can cope with.

Kids are good. Fuzzy is still learning to cope with the fact that he has to WORK to get A's in his high school honors classes. Pumpkin has one honor's class and she is learning to cope with that a bit too.

Hammer is halfway through the planning phase of his Eagle Scout project, which looks to be happening on 11/7. More on that once everything is official! Yay!

Hubby was cranky and tired mostly this weekend. Feh.

We basically had a very quiet weekend at home, which is really unusual and was really needed. I think we all enjoyed it.

The best part of the weekend was listening to Pumpkin practice her piano and hearing Beethoven's 'Fur Elise' which she worked on quite a bit. Very nice.

Tonight is a big NY sport night! We have the Giants on NBC and the Yankees on Fox! WOOHOO!

More soon...

be well...

Thankful Thursday

2009-10-22T14:31:00.006-04:00

Time to count blessings and not a minute too soon!

Panic mode is over, and I am firmly entrenched back in my denial place! LOL

1. I am grateful for my house, my home and my family.

2. I am grateful for my health insurance.

3. I am grateful for the meds that I have to help me and the doctors that are my partners in my healthcare.

4. I am grateful for the friends I have in my life.

5. I am grateful for my online friends, their availability and support have been invaluable over the last 7 years of coping with chronic illness. (rheumatoid arthritis, and for the last two years the brain thingy)

6. I am grateful for the technology that allows me to not only keep in touch but that lets me play stimulating and challenging games - some for fun - some for brain exercise - all of which help me cope and keep my mind off of worrysome stuff.

7. I am grateful for my pets. Yes, even though cleaning up cat hairballs and dog puke sucks, the unconditional love and joy they give daily far surpasses the difficulties they present on occasion.

8. I am grateful for Boy Scouts. Hammer has begun the planning for his Eagle Scout project which should be executed in the next 2 weeks. Fuzzy will begin planning his in the new year as he is just completing the last badge. Scouts has afforded the boys many opportunities for leadership, community service and personal growth.

9. I am especially grateful this week for my Hubby realizing that a hug, a cup of coffee and a snack would go a loooooonnnnng way.

10. I am grateful for the outlet that my blog and Facebook give to me and therefore, I am for YOU, the reader.

11. I am also grateful for the clarity health issues have given me in life. It sharpens into focus that which is truly important; those special gifts and blessings that no illness can take away.

Life is good. Thanks for being a part of it!

be well...

Hold On Loosely

2009-10-20T15:26:00.003-04:00

... but sometimes I need you to hold me completely up.

And, today, Hubby did that. Thank you, hon.

Tough day, and he came home early bearing gifts of Dunkin Donuts Iced Coffee and a cheesy bagel twisty stick thing and most importantly, just his hugs.

My appointment for the neurosurgeon is going to be November 10th. The day after our 18th Anniversary. That is three weeks from today. That is too long. Too long to worry until, too long for discomfort. :(

Next week I have the appointment with the new rheumatologist.

Today, Fuzzy's pediatrician appointment was cancelled further pushing back our paperwork for the school. Ugh.

Onward and upward...

be well...

Walk Like an Egyptian

2009-10-19T17:08:00.003-04:00

You know what? I like denial. I like my 'denial' world better.

Does that make me a bad person?

::: sigh :::

More soon...

be well...

Hot n Cold

2009-10-17T21:48:00.005-04:00

Listening to Yankee game as Hubby watches in on tv - ALCS! GO YANKS!

Must be MEME time!

Which do you prefer?

1. Man or Woman? Ummm, I am married to a man, but I am a woman... not sure what the creator of this meme was going for here! LOL

2. Facebook or Twitter? Teh Bookface, baby!

3. Donut or Twinkie? Donut

4. Diet Coke or Diet Pepsi? Diet Pepsi, if plain. Diet Cherry Coke Zero if going for a flavor. lol But coffee is best!

5. Fish or Chicken? Chicken, unless I can get shellfish!

6. Pads or tampons? Both

7. Brother or Sister? I have neither, so can I also have both?

8. Red or Orange? Red

9. Regular Iced tea or Raspberry Iced tea? Regular black tea, with lemon and no sugar please.

10. Mixed greens or Iceberg lettuce salad? Iceberg for me!

11. Laptop or desktop? Tricky... lately desktop.

12. Couch or chair? Couch

13. Hamster or bunny? Bunny! (although, I have never actually owned a bunny...)

14. Batman or Superman? TOTALLY Batman. Rich, smart, and body that don't quit! Booyah!

15. Yankees or Red Sox? Well, that is easy. Yankees!

16. PC or Apple? PC, although I am intrigued by the Mac. I love my iphone and we do own ipods too.

17. Hockey or Basketball? Hockey! Go Devils!

18. Football or Soccer? Football!

19. Ketchup or Mustard? Ketchup

20. Cake or Pie? Cake. Cheesecake, specifically. ;-)

Okie dokie... that was fun!

be well...

And So It Goes...

2009-10-16T15:34:00.005-04:00

Need to do a stream of consciousness post here...

So, our new insurance started and my rheumatologist who is at the #3 hospital in the US for rheumatology (behind Mayo and Hopkins), Hospital for Special Surgery in NYC, is NOT in it. Crap.

So, I have an appointment with a highly recommended local guy. We will see how it goes. I will still go to see my HSS rheumy once a year out of my own pocket. I will not give her up completely. And that is another thing. I LOVE having a woman doc. Not ONE woman rheumatologist in all of northern NJ. ACK. Pisses me off.

My jaw/spasm/pain/lower lip thing is still happening. This may or may not be related to the rheumatoid arthritis. I may need to be retested for MS as this is a common MS symptom. It may or may not be related to the brain thingy. Ack.

My right hand is swollen and painful. That is unusual. Usually, my left is the worst one and the right is just achey. Strange. Both my elbows are swollen and clicking and are red and inflammed. Right hip doing its usual annoying achey pain thing.

My diet. Well, I haven't gained, but I haven't lost either. That made me cranky and I cheated all last weekend, but I still didn't gain. Not bad. I was mostly good this week, but not great. I am keeping track of the calories and most days I have been under, but probably not the best choices.

Fuzzy and Pumpkin have both had reality checks that they may have to actually improve and utilize study habits to get the A's they usually get without lifting a finger in school. LOL I have worked with both of them some, but they were both a little resistant. Also, they have slacked on their chores lately. So, they have the punishment of 'Going Amish' hanging over their heads this weekend...

Foolishly, the Terribly Twosome also tried to act 'entitled' this week. Very, very dumb. Nothing pisses their father off more than when they act unappreciative and feel 'entitled' to their goodies. ie; computer, vid games etc. Again... a reality check was delivered.

Hammer has been great. He always is happy to help, never forgets his chores, and is ALWAYS appreciative and understanding. His biggest problem is writing. He hates it. Having Asperger's/being on the Autistic Spectrum he has fine motor issues and being dysgraphic - where writing actually hurts and is very difficult is one of his issues. Although, over the years he has gotten much better, it is a really difficult hurdle for him and something that I need to prod him to work on. It is hard sometimes because I hate causing him discomfort. :(

Even though we have been in school since 9/9 I am still compiling paperwork for Fuzzy's asthma plan. Tuesday we go to the doc's office to get that all settled. sigh.

Things have really been hectic. Lots of Scout meetings, school meetings, doc appointments etc. I really hope it all settles down.

I am going back to Atlantic City with my mom on business again this year in November. I am looking forward to it, as always. It is nice to get that time with my mom.

Tuesday night we have a meeting with the scoutmaster planning out Hammer's Eagle Scout Project. I am excited for him because he worked so hard on all his badges and this is the last step. If all goes smoothly, Hammer will be the 50th Eagle out of this troop!!! A special honor indeed.

I haven't seen Kathy and my sweet little nephew J in over a month. It is just a little under a month for my cousin Karol and my other nephews. This time of year is always hard. School, holidays, crazy stuff. Sigh.

Hubby and I will be celebrating two milestones soon. October 26th will be 19 years from when we became 'officially' engaged, with the ring and all. And, then exactly two weeks later on 11/9 it will be our 18th Wedding Anniversary. Wow. Time flies... sometimes it really seems like yesterday. How could it be 18 years? I don't feel like 18 years have passed by... yet it has.

There are many who never thought that we would make it this long. Our romance was quick and whirlwind... how could we really KNOW. Well, we did. And, we still feel the same. I was very lucky to find my other half, a best friend that I can laugh and love and journey through all of life's challenges with by my side. :-)

Okay, enough rambling for today...

be well...

Thankful Thursday (brought to you by 'holy crap! A week has gone by again?)

2009-10-15T14:01:00.005-04:00

The Union doctor and his tools.

The rebel company camp.

The cooking area and commander camp.

A Union infantry uniform. Authentic.

View from atop Little Round Top.

Yes, Virginia, a week has blown by! Yikes!

Some Gettysburg pics above for your enjoyment!

1. Gettysburg. I really, really love the place. The people are so nice, the history is all around you, and there is so much to do and see.

We saw 2 groups of reenactments. The first set was mostly Confederates out of Virginia representing Lee's Army of Northern Virginia, up on the extension of Seminary Ridge, near General Longstreet's Memorial. The doctor was a Union doctor of the Army of the Potomac, that was with them and he was very knowledgeable. Gave a great talk and demonstrated with actual Civil War instruments how he would amputate legs etc. A good doctor would do 3 legs in about 5 minutes, moving quickly from one to the next. Would only clean their tools to keep them from slipping out of their hands.

The second reenactment group was from 124th New York Regiment! They were celebrating their anniversary of being called to service 148 years earlier in 1861, on Sunday, October 11th. They were an all volunteer regiment. They did some line formations and demonstrations of rifle firing. No balls in the rifles, just the powder which gave a good bang!

We also visited Little Round Top. This was the extreme left flank of the Union line which Col. Joshua Lawrence Chamberlain and his 20th Maine were told to 'Hold at all costs to the end.' And, they did. Even though they were facing 3 times as many soldiers, they held the high ground, and when they ran out of bullets they began the first and only bayonet charge ordered in the Civil War, the last ordered in any battle since, as well. They held the line, captured more soldiers than they had to guard them (thankfully their reenforcements arrived before anyone noticed, but the Rebels were all unarmed quickly), chased off the rest of the Rebs into a retreat. The 20th Maine saved the Union line from collapsing unto itself and thus ended day 2 of the Battle of Gettysburg. (can you tell I LOVE this period of history?)

2. Hubby. He organized a great trip for the boys. Our kids have already been to Gettysburg and probably will return again, but many kids in our troop would never have gotten this opportunity and were exposed to the living history of the Civil War. It wasn't easy to arrange moving 30 plus kids and some parents to the Battlefield and around it. Good job, honey.

3. Mom and Daughter time. Pumpkin Muffin and I really enjoyed our time alone with each other at the hotel room for night 2 and 3 of our trip. We went to the pool, had dinner and snacks. Relaxed and watched tv together, and got to talk a lot. Very nice.

4. Hammer. He helped me so much with all the camp laundry and regular weekly laundry over the last 2 days.

5. Technology. It does make life easier to connect and share.

Okay... that is all I have the brains or brawn for today.

be well...

Thankful Thursday

2009-10-08T14:25:00.003-04:00

WOW! Time flies doesn't it? Loved the above pic... he he he...

Here we are at Thankful Thursday again!

1. Gettysburg Trip. I am really looking forward to getting away and experiencing Gettysburg again. I love history!

2. Coffee. A must have everyday, even on trips!

3. Laughter. I watched the first episode of the new show 'Modern Family' last night. We have them all tivo'd. OMG, I laughed so hard I lost my breath and cried. It was great!

4. The Arts. Dancing, singing, music, painting, sculpture, etc. The beauty and talent of those around us can be awe inspiring. Listened to some Mozart last night... brought tears to my eyes. Watched dancing show and was amazed at some of the talent...

5. Farmville. Totally addicted and having fun with the distraction it provides.

6. Life. Whether easy, hard, painful, fun, happy or sad it is to be lived and savored. Autumn is my favorite season, watching nature's exquisite show aflame against a grey blue sky is like none other!

Leaving for Gettysburg tomorrow after some more running around! Ack! Will check in at some point next week, maybe over the weekend if there is time!

be well...

I'm Still Standing

2009-10-05T20:47:00.006-04:00

Mondays. Never know what they will bring!

We got hit with the engine light on in the car. Ack.

Thankfully, our local 10 minute oil change place has a computer thingy and it said that it was the oil pressure sensor which may/or may not have been fixed by having an oil change. It worked. They changed the oil and the filters and the pressure came back up and the light went off.

YAY! We leave for our Boy Scout trip to Gettysburg on Friday and we do NOT need to be worrying about anything with the car when traveling about 5 hours from home!

In preparation for our trip I am rereading the book 'Killer Angels'. It is the book that the movie 'Gettysburg' was based upon, in case you are not familiar with it. I have read the book many times before, I am guessing this may be around the 12th time. Definitely more than ten.

I am going to do a presentation for the Scouts and parents about the Battle of Little Round Top and Pickett's Charge and the spot called the 'high water mark' of the Confederacy, by the 'copse of trees'. I am going to try to make it more real for the boys, have them stand in positions of both Blue and Grey soldiers and really get a feel for how it happened.

This is my third trip to Gettysburg personally, so being familiar with it already will help sharing this amazing place in our history with the boys.

It is a busy week around here! Hubby has his 'Man Scout' meeting of all the leaders tonight. Tomorrow night is the Senior Patrol Leader meeting, which Fuzzy runs as the 'head' scout, and all the patrol leaders, their assistants etc. It is basically a planning meeting. Then, Wednesday night is the regular scout meeting.

Thursday morning as a member of the Board of Health I will be working the free flu shot clinic at our Senior Center. Just regular shots, not H1N1. Then, Thursday night is Fuzzy's high school Back to School night. Friday morning is a meeting at the school with regard to his asthma and the special 504 set up we have to manage it.

Somewhere on Thursday and Friday we have to pack for the trip as we leave in the mid afternoon on Friday!

As I said, busy, busy, busy! Never a dull moment around here and no time for my rheumatoid arthritis to be acting up. Not sure how that is all going to play out, but I am doing better. The hip has settled down to a dull ache and I have no problems with putting weight on it! Yay! I may still look into taking a prednisone taper though... not sure.

Fuzzy and my dad are shooting in trap/skeet league together this fall. It is Fuzzy's second time around, my dad's first. Today, Fuzzy hit a new high with 17 of 25 in his trap rounds! He was thrilled.

I guess that about catches you up with us!

be well...

Ode to Joy

2009-10-02T15:16:00.005-04:00

I am listening to Pumpkin Muffin playing 'Ode to Joy' on the piano right now. Yay! After taking a year off, she is back to piano! I am so happy.

I have a funny Pumpkin story for you all.

I don't know if it speaks to the power of female persuasion or my daughter's bossiness, but here it is.

The first week of school in their Spanish class they decided to do a review of basic conversation. The kids were broken up into groups. Pumpkin was paired with two boys. One is a friend, J, whose mom is from somewhere in South America and J has been learning Spanish his whole life.

Pumpkin in her daily recitation of every detail of her day (yes, EVERY detail) tells me the next day that they only got a 95% because she must have spelled 'Aloha' wrong.

Aloha? I asked her why did she have 'Aloha' on there at all. She said, 'Mom, it's Spanish for 'hello'!' (read this with all the condescending teen attitude you can muster)

I state, 'No, Pumpkin. Aloha is Hawaiian for hello. Hola is Spanish for hello.

Pumpkin: blink blink

Then, 'Oh, well there ya go then!', followed by hysterical laughter from the two of us.

I asked her to please ask J how come (being from a half Spanish home) he did not step in and point out this glaring error.

So, the next day, Pumpkin comes home and begins her daily recitation of every detail of her day.

I ask, 'Skip to J, what did he say about Aloha?'

Pumpkin smiles and said, 'J said he thought it was just a different Spanish word for hello because after all, I am usually right!' (read this with the smug satisfaction of a woman who has realized she has got it going on!)

So, there ya have it.

Again, not sure if it was her confidence, or her bossiness, but my daughter has got some man management skills! LOL

ps. My hip is feeling better. I can put my full weight on it. That is key. The pain is doable.

Looking forward to the Gettysburg trip. The Boy Scout Gettysburg Campsite is awarded once a year via a lottery system. It is very limited. By October 15th of the preceding year you have to apply. Then, in February of the year you wish to camp, you receive notification of whether you received your first choice or second choice weekend.

As you can imagine, a three day weekend like Columbus Day is a tough one to get, so were lucky. The campsite I believe is also only open May thru the end of October.

Another cool thing is that there are 2 battle reenactments that weekend, one Saturday and one Sunday that the boys are going to be able to witness!

As I mentioned, we visited Gettysburg as a family before and loved it. I also went when I was a kid. I love history. (and science, and english, and yeah, just learning in general... lol)

Being in Gettysburg is awe inspiring. The history is EVERYWHERE around you. Even in the building that houses the Starbucks you can see the holes in the brickwork from small cannonballs and musket fire. It is really amazing. If you ever get a chance to go, do it.

Okay... signing off...

be well...

Thankful Thursday

2009-10-01T14:11:00.004-04:00

I am sure you are all familiar with this phrase!

RA SUCKS. Ok... enough whining, I was having a good week and in spite of my latest flare issue resulting in trochanter bursitis or hip impingement or just plain old BUM RA HIP ISSUES, I am going to CONTINUE having a good week.

Thankfuls..

1. Hubby. I asked Hubby to stay home so I could load up on the vicodin and get some 'better/more' sleep. And, Hubby stayed here, working from the house. Thank heavens for technology that makes this possible! Internet, Blackberry, fax machines...etc.

2. Kids. All three have gone above and beyond in supplying help to Mommy during the latest flaring and this hip issue.

3. Boy Scouts. It provides great leadership skills and experiences. For the family too. Next weekend we have a Scout trip to Gettysburg. It will be our second as a family. The boys and Hubby will be camping ON THE BATTLEFIELD. Soooooo awesome. Pumpkin and I will be camping at the Marriott Courtyard! LOL

Positive energy and prayers needed for my hip and flare to go AWAY so I can keep up in Gettysburg next week!

I may have to do a prednisone taper. I am thankful that I have this opportunity, yet its side effects make me hesitant. So, waiting at this point to see what happens.

4. Autumn. Oh how I love that crisp feeling in the air! No other season gets that snap. Nature's kaleidescope show is soon to begin on the trees... sigh. I love it! ::: sigh :::

5. Coffee. Tried a new flavor from Green Mountain called Pumpkin Spice. Not as awesome as Gingerbread, but close! Yum.

ps... coffee machine still acting up. BJ's has one on sale thank the caffeine gods.

6. NCIS and NCIS LA! I love both these shows! Yay! I am just happy that the new fall season is upon us and we have NEW things to watch! Some just fun, some thought provoking, some full of adventure and puzzles.

7. Life. It is good. I have people I love all around me. My kids, Hubby, and parents. I have friends who care. A roof over my head and money to pay the bills. Books and computer to entertain and educate.

COULD BE MUCH WORSE.

And, that fact is NOT lost on me for one minute!

8. Pets. Even though Libby keeps pooping on the front lawn and pissing off my dad, even though Tina still hates me and loves Hubby who hates her, even though Suzy knocked over the hamster cage AGAIN yesterday, even though Pumpkin (the cat) is very obviously declining as she ages --- I wouldn't trade the love, comfort and entertainment that you all provide on a daily basis.

The hamsters could go though. Anyone? lol

9. Diet. It has been a tough two weeks. Feeling the loss in my clothes, but the scale stayed the same. First, I went 2 pounds while Aunt Flo visited, and now, I am back down but still holding at 10 pounds total. This is pissing me off, but this is also how we women lose. So, I am waiting out the plateau. I can't exercise because of the hip... frustrating.

I believe that covers it. :-D

May this entry find you well and happy in your world!

be well...

Thankful (but cranky) Thursday

2009-09-24T15:38:00.005-04:00

I am thankful. I am blessed in many ways.

I am just not feeling it today on the outside, but it is there on the inside, in my head.

I am blessed with 3 marvelous kids who give me so much joy and purpose in life, much more than they will ever know.

I am blessed with an amazing set of parents who give not only time and money, but the gift of themselves to me, Hubby and the kids in so many ways.

I am blessed with insurance. Even if it is crappy. Even if my the ultimate insurance situation is still not settled, I do have something. Better than nothing.

Hubby has gotten his head out of his butt, and as always hold my heart in his hands.

So far, so good, with regard to any terrorist activity in NYC. Maybe they did squash the right bugs so far.

I have coffee, I have wonderful pets, and nice house (even if it needs work done, so does everyone's right?) and a nice car that Hubby and I share.

My parents are healthy. My Hubby is health and MOST importantly my kids are healthy.

Here is the rub and the source of cranky. I am not healthy.

This complicates my life in many ways.

Yeah, the little tiff with Hubby came from it, it causes inconvenience. It causes frustration for my family with that inconvenience.

It causes pain. I don't remember the last time I didn't have pain. The best times are when I do a prednisone taper. Day 2 is usually the best because you get this super buzz from the prednisone where you feel like superwoman and it drowns all the inflammation and you feel like you can conquer the world!!! But prednisone is bad for so many reasons that I am happy not to be on it except for the rare tapers that I do.

Pain is a constant. Every time I roll over in bed, when I get up, when I walk, when I type, when I open jars, when I blow dry my hair, when I stretch to grab something, when I stand, when I lay.

Fatigue. Tired is something you get over. You sleep, you rest. You wake up refreshed.

Fatigue doesn't leave after sleep. It persists. Normal people walk through a world of chicken broth. I mostly walk through a world of pea soup. Hard to move through...

Then, there are the cognitive issues too. That is part of the pea soup. You don't think and react with the clarity you used to have. It is called RA Fog or Lupus fog or Rhupus Fog for those who are active in both diseases. It causes some pretty funny moments, and some very frustrating ones, too.

Nerve issues really suck. Nerve pain usually happens when a nerve gets stuck in the inflammed area of a joint.

That is what is going on along my jaw. It is apparently inflammed and causing spasms and strange icy hot sensations. It is not fun. Only my left side. It is the bottom of the trigeminal nerve. I am not happy.

My left elbow is a mess and my right hip and foot. Both my hands have several fingers sore and inflammed. My ankles are in their usual state of unhappiness.

I am overdue for a rheumatologist appointment and haven't had any bloodwork since May. I haven't been on the strong RA drugs since my reaction to the Enbrel in April. Or was it March? I can't even remember.

I am frustrated, fed-up, and sick of being sick. There is no cure. It never ends. It is an endless roller coaster loop of good days and bad days.

Usually, I let it all out and I feel better. Today, not so much.

Tonight is back to school night for Pumpkin. I don't know if I will make it. That upsets me.

be well...

(ps... being sick does clarify for you all that is good and important in life and usually that is what keeps me happy. I will get over my little pity party soon. Don't worry)

If It Makes You Happy

2009-09-22T16:03:00.003-04:00

A meme. Because I am grumpy. And, because I am the Queen.

10 Random Shuffles on Total Ipod list (575 songs, many the kids)

1. Hazy Shade of Winter - The Bangles

2. Don't Do Me Like That - Tom Petty

3. I'm Goin' Down - Bruce Springsteen

4. Autobot/Decepticon Battle from Transformers the Movie 1984 - Vince DiCola

5. Something Stupid - Frank Sinatra

6. Someday I'll be Saturday Night - BonJovi

7. Dance, Dance, Dance - Steve Miller Band

8. Walk This Way (original) - Aerosmith

9. Halo - Beyonce

10. I Need A Lover - John Mellencamp

Now, another 10 from my PUMP IT UP! List... Songs to put some pep in your step! (only 71 to shuffle through)

1. How You Remind Me - Nickelback

2. Rebel Yell - Billy Idol

3. I'm Yours - Jason Mraz

4. Bad Medicine - Bon Jovi

5. Down On My Knees - John Cafferty & the Beaver Brown Band from the 'Eddie and the Cruisers' sountrack

6. Gimme All Your Lovin' - ZZ Top

7. Hollaback Girl - Gwen Stefani

8. You Shook Me All Night Long - AC/DC

9. Elevation - U2

10. Caught Up In You - .38 Special

Now, I am going to listen to the Pump It Up! Shuffle while I fold laundry.

be well...

Mad World

2009-09-22T13:04:00.007-04:00

Not a great week so far for me. Beware, whiny post ahead.

I have a new strange flare thing happening for a while now but the last few days have been particularly uncomfortable. I am having a spasm in a jaw/facial muscle accompanied by pain and a hot/icy sensation. I know it is a nerve thing (having had them before) and it is pissing me off.

Hubby has also been pissing me off.

There. I. Said. It.

First, on Saturday he said something really hurtful. He realized it wayyyy fast, apologized repeatedly and profusely, but you know what? You can't unsay it. No rewind and do over switch.

I put that away to celebrate the birthday and all was fine, and it would have gone away at that if yesterday am didn't happen.

Hubby got in one of his pissy don't want to deal with driving the kids but mostly don't want to deal with your disease/RA/incovenience moods. He usually drives on Mondays as I take my methotrexate Sunday night. Of course all summer it was a non-issue, but now it is school time again.

It is a pain for him but I deliberately take the medicine then so it doesn't interfere with the weekend, and usually Mondays are quiet days around here. If Hubby isn't driving that means he drives the kids, drops the car back here at the house and then walks to the bus. I get it is annoying but I still don't need or deserve the mouthful of crap before he did it.

The RA is not my fault. I can't control it, and didn't choose it. Mornings have been and will always be bad. The WORST time of day for me. Pain, walking thru pea soup (fatigue), not good.

Then, this morning I get up thinking he is going on the bus and I don't feel like any crap from him so I am gonna do the kids and all he will have to do is get up and go.

He tells me 5 minutes before I leave that he needs the car.

WTF? Sooooooo, you let me get up do the kids etc, when EVERY other time you need the car you tell me the NIGHT BEFORE so I can SLEEP in and you just get up a little earlier do the kids and bolt straight away with the car.

How passive aggressive is that? I am totally pissed off.

THEN, let's add in the wonderful terrorism threat. They think that the cell and it's plan of bombing either subways or other sites in NYC is still in effect.

So, I get to be pissed off at Hubby AND a nervous wreck that something bad will happen to this man that carries my heart with his every day.

:::Sigh::: And, I am sore all over because rain is coming in. Dammit.

Oh yeah, I am a ball of freakin' sunshine today.

Pumpkin is bringing home her best pal, Penelope (nickname). I guess I have a little less than 2 hours to get over myself then.

Hammer is helping me do wash and gave me a nice shoulder rub. He is just the sweetest man-child ever. :-)

Okay... I think I feel a little better after venting for all of you.

A little... maybe another cup of coffee will help. And, since I am not driving anywhere anyhow a 1/2 a vicodin. :(

be well...

Bad Company

2009-09-20T21:13:00.004-04:00

Today is Hubby's birthday! 44 years, double digits, which is supposed to be good luck!

Tonight we are watching Giants vs. Dallas. As you may remember, Hubby is a huge Giant fan. HUGE. I really hope the Giants win today as a birthday present. It would top off a very nice day.

Uncle K is here and he has the nerve to be a Dallas fan. Uncle K (Hammer's godfather) and Hubby grew up together and ALL of their friends are Giants fans, and then there is Uncle K.

There is even a bet between Tom (our friend whose lake we visited in August and took us to the Wayne County PA fair) and Uncle K for dinner over this game. Our friend Uncle D (also a childhood friend that is godfather to Fuzzy) sent Uncle K a very 'colorful' text message that I cannot reprint here. LOL

The trash talking is flying about the house!!! LOL

I have also been known to partake and honestly I sometimes get so excited and worked up ESPECIALLY during a Giants game such as this that I have to give myself a time out and come here by the computer to settle myself down.

Feel better already!!! I was getting pretty damn worked up, needed to take a break!

Let's see what other news can I share from this weekend...

I am up to 10 pounds lost. ;-) (my first goal!)

Tonight, we went to PF Chang's for Hubby's birthday dinner and somehow I managed to still eek in under my calorie count for the day! YAY!

Fuzzy was treated to a really cool new adult sized mountain bike by Grandpa and Grandma that he loves. :-)

Oooh, funny story! We got a new lamp for a family room yesterday as our old one was killed by Hubby. Don't ask. Anyhow, we put in new energy saving bulbs like good little green people. Apparently, we shouldn't have because it has a low and high setting, but I digress.

So, there we are sitting there watching tv, minding our own business and BAM, POW, POP! (pick one) One of the light bulbs exploded all over showering me and the room with glass!!!

Hubby came running, the dog ran the other way, the kids start yelling, I leapt up and shut off the light because it began to smoke, and then we let Hubby take over. LOL

So, we put in normal lightbulbs and all is well now.

That was our weekend excitement... prior to this game!

GO GIANTS!!!

be well...

Thankful Thursday

2009-09-17T06:49:00.004-04:00

I just love this lolcat. I hear his voice in my head like Ralph from the Honeymooners!

I don't know why, but lately when I post a picture I can't have any hard returns in my entries. I know it is probably something stupid that I am doing, so if you can tell me what... please feel free! LOL

1. Hubby. You know what Beth and Ken, he really does listen to me about 90-95% of the time. Like Beth said, it is just that 5-10% - whoa nelly! LOL ;-)

2. Sleep. I got 3 hours last night. It could have been worse. I finally fell asleep around 1:30 and woke up WIDE AWAKE at 4:30am. I read online on my iphone for a while, then I decided that if I was still awake when my mom went to work at 6ish, I was getting up. :::waving::: Yep, hi mom! LOL

3. Kids. They are not happy that I just woke them. Pumpkin grumbled her way down the steps and collapsed under a blanket in the family room to get some more Zzz's. Fuzzy grabbed his fruit bar and iced tea, added a blanket and put on the news. The morning routine has begun! (Hammer gets to sleep in until 9ish, and Hubby told me to go away until after I drove the kids to school. Ok then, guess no morning meeting for him!)

4. Donna. Thank you. You know why. It made me feel 'useful' for the first time in a long time! And, you are right, when you know someone it is easier... so maybe at some other point in the future.

5. My cousin Karen. As I mentioned yesterday, life gets away from you and sometimes you just have to grab it back and hang on again!

6. Coffee. I have a feeling it will be instrumental in my survival today. After all, I am awake but it isn't like I am bouncing around ready to do a tango! It is more like the 80+ year old shuffle around here right now.

Ahhh Green Mountain Caramel Vanilla. YUMMY!!! Cup 2 down the hatch! WOOHOOO!

7. Vicodin. Well, I wouldn't have even gotten 3 hours sleep without that!

8. Subway and Dawn and John. I have to tell you, having a friend that you grew up with (Dawn) open, own and work at a Subway in your town is awesome. The food is uber-fresh, the place is SPOTLESS clean. I am in love with the Veggie Delight! Maybe I can give Jared a run for his money, as I am up to 8lbs lost now! Yay!

9. The 'Lose-it' Application on my Iphone. First, I should thank Hubby for indulging me with the iphone last year as my anniversary/birthday gift. The 'Lose-it' app is amazing. I track my weight and my calories and more on it. Chronicling each item I put in my mouth is really a great weight loss tool!

10. Yankees. They are so hot and this season has just been AWESOME! And, Traci, doesn't matter one iota that they lost the game on 9/11 that Jeter hit the 2722 hits within. You have no idea unless you live in this area the 'lift' that it gave to everyone to have something really fun and positive for that date now to reflect on. ;-)

Okay... time to torture the kiddies to brush teeth, get dressed, recheck school stuff etc.

Have a great Thankful Thursday everyone!

be well...

I Told You So

2009-09-16T19:25:00.008-04:00

This is what it has been like lately with Fuzzy and Pumpkin.

This is what it is like most of the time between Hammer and the terrible twosome! Hammer is my big thinker! ;-)

Is it a wonder I want to pull my hair out sometimes? LOL

Oy! The bickering!!!!

Today, as I shouted at the two of them to 'Knock it off' for what felt like the thousandth time, I decided to add, 'if you two start it again, I am punishing you both - no questions asked.'

The standard punishment is going Amish or electronics free. Except for tv.

No computer, no cell phone (no texting???!!! The horror! for Pumpkin anyhow.) no Xbox or handheld game either.

It worked. Blessed silence ensued and no more bickering, no more 'he said, she said'. Suddenly, it was all UN negotiations and keeping mom out of it. Nice. :-)

The big news of the week falls under the 'NEVER A DULL MOMENT' at my house category!

Monday night we were all outside enjoying the lovely evening. Uncle K, his son, Pumpkin and Hubby were playing basketball and were almost done with a game of '21'. Fuzzy was riding his bike.

He pulled into the drive way and I told him it was getting too dark, streetlights were on already, and to put away the bike. As usual, he argued. After a moment of bickering, he begged for one more run down the street.

I had a bad feeling about it, but I let him go. I shouldn't have, and he should have listened to mom.

We hear a yell and a crash. Fuzzy's bike pedal broke off and he went flying over the handlebars.

He came down very, very hard on his left forearm and tore it up with road rash, also his left shoulder, hand, right thumb, and both knees. Ouch.

The forearm began to swell and bruise and after a half hour he was in a lot of pain so... off to the ER. Thankfully, NOT broken. Three separate finger fractures so far for 2009 ( two for Pumpkin, one for Fuzzy), and I was glad not to add to the list!

Needless to say, bad road rash sucks and hurts. As does the massive swelling and bruise on the forearm. Fuzzy had a half day on Tuesday and we let him stay home. He had a rough night and was really sore, so he had a jammie day with motrin. ;-)

This morning and today have been much better. It is awesome to be young because he is bouncing back already. No gym for this week, but he is already sure he will be fine for Monday! Ahh youth! LOL

Lesson learned? Listen to Mom? I doubt it. Fuzzy keeps saying, 'It had nothing to do with the darkness.' Everyone keeps telling him, 'Yeah, but sometimes Mom's just know.'

Well, he is man, after all. Hubby hasn't quite learned to listen to me yet, so what hope is there for Fuzzy? LOL I guess we will see the next time.

Today I met my cousin Karen for an awesome gabfest at Panera over tea for her and coffee for me! It was really nice to reconnect as it had been too long that life got in the way.

I am realizing more and more how easy that is to happen and how we really need to work against it. Time just flies by, and there is always something to be rushing to or from, but we have to stop ourselves to be with the ones we love. Too often they are gone too soon.

be well...

Take Me Out to the Ball Game

2009-09-14T13:34:00.004-04:00

What a great sports weekend!

First, on 9/11, and it really was perfection that something so great happened on that day in New York, Derek Jeter got his 2722 hit, placing him at the #1 spot as the all-time career highest Yankee hitter. With Lou Gehrig, Mickey Mantle and Babe Ruth behind him respectively.

Amazing company to say the least; Jeter is truly a living legend himself.

Then, FOOTBALL! Opening day for the Jets and Giants! Wooohooo!

And, they both win!!! Yippee! There were happy faces all around our house!

Pumpkin stopped hating me as a mean mommy about two hours after I posted on Saturday. After all, dinner came under discussion, and she couldn't possibly miss out on that! lol

My diet is going well so far. I am happy to report that since getting my scale last week, I have lost 6 pounds. :-)

I know it won't continue at that pace, but I am proud. I have been walking every day that is not raining also. It's all good.

Unfortunately, for the last two days my left elbow has been screaming loudly. If only I was like the tin man and could just oil it and have it done with. :::sigh:::

You would think with the exercise I have added it would be a weight bearing body part, but no. Rheumaoid Arthritis never makes sense or makes it easy! LOL

The only problem I have had since starting walking is my middle toe on my left foot that is beginning to turn in funky ways starts to spasm. It happens at strange random times, too.

Again, RA makes no sense! LOL And, did I mention RA Sucks! LOL

Yes, I think I have said that before...

Gotta laugh...

be well...

Love Game

2009-09-12T12:51:00.006-04:00

Here is Libby enjoying an afternoon snooze on the love seat.

Libby knows that daddy is not home so she can get away with this during the day today. I don't fret because it is leather and the hair blows right off.

Makes you jealous to look at her doesn't it?

So, my title 'Love Game' is not going to be about some twisted singles club hook-up like Lady GaGa sings about.

No, it is about life with an almost teen. My sweet daughter, Pumpkin, who is 12 1/2. Sigh.

Yesterday, I was the best mommy in the whole world. She couldn't sit close enough to me. We played UNO, we watched tv together, and since Hubby is gone, she insisted on sleeping with me.

I informed her that I would wake her at 10am so she could get up, relax, do breakfast etc, before starting her weekly chore. Cleaning the bathroom.

This morning I decided to be nice and let Pumpkin sleep in until 11am. After all, it was the stressful first week of school. A small kindness seemed in order.

As they say, 'No good deed goes unpunished.'

Pumpkin got up and ate breakfast and then I thought headed to the bathroom to start her chore, as I headed to the computer. Imagine my surprise a half hour later when I found that she was perched on the laptop in the family room instead. I asked her if she was on break. Oh no, the chore had not even been started.

Needless to say, I was NOT amused and sent her immediately to do the chore. NOW.

Thus, my new status as the most horrible mother in the whole world.

I am now being grumbled at and avoided.

What a difference a day makes!

Yes, life with (almost) teens are full of fun.

Like nailing Jello to a tree.

Well, this horrible mom has to go now. It keeps you busy causing teen misery! LOL

Or maybe I will join the dog!

be well...

The End of the Innocence - 9/11/2001

2009-09-11T12:17:00.002-04:00

This is a repost of my entry from 9/11/06 - the 5th Anniversary.

The end of the innocence.

That is what September 11, 2001 is for me.

Prior to 9/11, just about every other major country has had major acts of terrorism on their soil, whether it was hijacking, suicide back pack bombers, or bombs against infrastructure, like an embassy or hotel. It is a way of life in some places, and in others, not so common, but a definite part of their reality.

We, as North Americans, believed we were isolated from major acts of terrorism. Even after the 1993 bombing of the World Trade Center we were willing to believe that it was a fluke, never to be attempted again. After all, it failed, right?

Yes, it did fail, but the failure wasn't so much theirs as it was ours.

It should have been a huge wake up call. We should have known it was just a matter of time before they succeeded, and in a big way.

Our airport security has never been where it should be, if only back in 1993 we decided to take it seriously, like Israel. If only in 1993 we started to more carefully track student visas and be sure that the students were actually attending college. If only in 1993 we had extensive backgrounds and security checks done on non-citizens trying to apply for pilots licenses.

If only... Yes, it is easier to 'if only' now, because hindsight is twenty-twenty. Instead, now, even 5 years later, we are still scrambling to catch up to where our national security should be.

September 11, 2001 was a gorgeous Tuesday, following several days just as gorgeous. I woke hubby up like I do every morning and he said he was going to sleep in as he had a sinus headache. I got the kids off to school. I returned to hubby getting out of the shower and I tried to convince him to stay home and blow off the day, but hubby said no and left about 8:25 to head into NYC in his company jeep.

I got Hammer up and settled into breakfast and his school work. I remember I went to the computer and was reading a homeschooling message board, checking out some new ideas for the new school year.

The phone rang, and it was about 8:50 am. It was my cousin K and she told me, 'Turn on the tv, NOW. A plane hit one the Trade Centers. Where is your hubby?' I told her he was probably just going through the tunnel because of his late start and then I told her I would call her back.

I called Hubby, and before I asked him where he was and if he knew that a plane hit the Trade Centers. He told me he was out of the tunnel and almost to his office, traffic was unusually light, and then he said, 'I was on the helix, (a raised loop into the Lincoln Tunnel) and I saw the plane hit the Trade Center!' He thought it looked small, but wasn't sure.

I immediately asked him about our friend John, and he said he wasn't sure which tower his office was in, but he would be at the office soon, so, Jay would know. Jay and my hubby had been working together for almost 5 years at this point, and John was Jay's best friend since kindergarten, and John married Jay's sister.

I remember hanging up with my hubby, my eyes never leaving the tv screen and the Today show and sitting down on the ottoman, kind of shocked, but relieved that hubby was okay and in Midtown. My mom called and I just told her fast that hubby was fine and in the office not to worry.

Then, it happened. Right before my eyes, the second plane slammed into the other tower! We didn't see the plane hit, but you saw the explosion, it was unbelievable! I was confused... I just kept staring, open mouthed and numb at the tv.

It was as if time stood still. I couldn't move, I don't remember who said it but one of the newscasters said it was terrorism. They were putting NYC on lockdown, and there may be more planes, and more targets in NYC.

I grabbed the phone and called my hubby. I used my cell phone radio function because calling the cell wouldn't work. He knew about the second plane and that it was terrorism, they had radios on at his office. He told me no one could get a hold of John, and Jay was really upset.

I told him to get out now and fast and head up through the Bronx and to Westchester, and to come over the Tappan Zee Bridge. That was staying open at this time. He told me they (he and Jay) were already heading for the elevator. He was going to drop Jay off at his sister's house and then get home to me.

I had to take a minute to get myself together as I had Hammer home with me. With that, the door from my garage opened and my mom walked in. I was so happy to see her and we just hugged for a minute and I told her about Hubby and Jay and John and that he was trying to get out via the Tappan Zee.

We both sat down in front of the television in my living room and just stared in a complete state of shock and numbness. Then, the plane hit the Pentagon. That is when panic truly started to set in. I called hubby and told him and again, he knew. We said our 'I love you's' and hung up.

I remember thinking that it couldn't get any worse... or at least that was my hope. It was horrific to watch. People jumping out of the buildings, the Pentagon rent open and the injured spilling out. It was Dante's Inferno in NYC and DC! And, how many more planes? I remember at this point there was talk of about 6 or 8 still in the air.

Next, the news started to talk about pieces of the tower falling, and the concern over a collapse, but from what was being said, the fear seemed to be about just the floors above the plane crash. Awful enough, that is for sure.

No one, least of all my mom and I, were ready for what we saw next.

The South Tower started started to collapse, and it just crumbled and crumbled down. It was horrific and surreal and completely mind numbing. The people, the moms, dads, sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, cousins, friends of thousands, gone. The rescue workers, the people just escaping the nightmare within the buildings, gone.

We watched as more firemen run into the still standing North Tower to help evacuate quicker before its inevitable collapse. It was almost a half hour later, but it seemed like just a few minutes. The devastation was just as shocking and horrifying the second time.

I remember feeling so helpless.

I ran out of the house and went to get the kids out of school. My hubby had suggested it, but now, I needed them here, home with me. I remember getting to my Fuzzy's school and seeing other moms with tear streaked faces. It was so strangely quiet, too. I remember seeing a teacher crying in the hall. I found out that her brother made it out of the Trades and home, thank God. Two boys wouldn't be that lucky, their dad was an accountant for the Port Authority. Next I picked up Pumpkin at pre-k and even the toddlers were more subdued than normal. It was if even they could sense something had gone terribly wrong in the world.

I remember getting the kids home and settled into the family room with television and lunch. I remember remarking to my mom that 'in the family room it's Nickolodeon, and in the living room it's a nightmare.'

Except that we couldn't just wake up.

By the time my hubby dropped Jay off at his sister's, we knew things were not looking good, but we were very hopeful. John worked for Silverstein Properties, the owner of the complex, and he was involved with helping to evacuate. That was all that was known for sure at that time.

Hubby pulled into our driveway at 2:45 pm. As you can imagine, anyone in a car was trying to get out the way my hubby did, and the roads were choked with people trying to get to family members all over the NY-NJ area.

He got out of the car and I ran to him and we just held each other. I had held it together up until that point, but that is when the tears just started. I don't think they stopped for the next five or six days.

Unfortunately, running outside we found out something else too. Not only could we see the smoke from the towers looking to the east, but we could smell the smell, too. It was horrible. I still smell it in my nightmares.

I was lucky. My hubby came home. Hubby had an appointment on Thursday morning with John at the Trade Centers to discuss some possible door work. If Thursday was the day of the attack, I would not have been so lucky.

John was 6 foot 7 inches tall and pretty wide, too. He died that day, trying to help evacuate and rescue people. Thanks to his great height, and the fact that he was well known to many that survived, his family has been able to piece together much of his actions prior to the collapse.

I know that this has gotten way too long, and I am sorry. Just a bit more, I promise.

I knew coping with 9/11 was going to be very difficult, and that this tragedy would always be a part of our lives, but I have to say, I didn't realize in the beginning just how hard it was going to be.

Watching my hubby go back to work the first day was awful. I had to learn to cope, and it wasn't easy. I wasn't ready to be 'rah rah let's show 'em how we keep on going!' I just wanted my hubby home with me, and screw ever setting foot in NYC ever again!!!

It is still hard. I know that life goes on, and that is a blessed and wonderful thing, but, it is still hard. It is hard because NYC is still, and will always be, a HUGE target. Due to my hubby's job, he is in and around every possible target in the city, on any given day. The UN, the museums, Grand Central, Penn Station, Wall Street, the Empire State Building, you name it, and he might be there.

My coping is an ongoing process. I do go into the city for my rheumatologist, because they are the best, and we have gone in for some family stuff, too. Life does, indeed, go on.

It is still heart wrenching just to look at the skyline. It is all wrong now. It is missing the Towers, the exclamation points, at the end of the glorious sentence that is the Manhattan skyline.

Now, without punctuation, it is the end of the innocence.

Thankful Thursday

2009-09-10T22:32:00.002-04:00

Finally, school has begun in our little slice of NJ!

The summer, frankly, went too quick for me this year. It didn't feel like summer at all until August, and then *poof* over - in the blink of an eye! I actually love the time with the kids with no schedule and just relaxing.

Sigh.

Thankfuls...

1. Fuzzy. That although he was much like the kitty in the picture above, and was full of nerves, Fuzzy is now happy with high school and seems to be enjoying the new experience and the teachers and the work. Yay!

2. Pumpkin. As always, just a bundle of happy at the thought of starting a new year and after starting it - she still is a bundle of happy! Yay!

3. Friends. Thanks for the prayers and support this week!

4. Hubby. No one pisses me off quite like you. No one loves me better, either. Feh. It's all good, hon. lol

5. Farkle. Thank you for taking my mind off worrying about Fuzzy during his first day at high school. I like being in first place out of my friend's scores too.

6. Books. How I love you all!!!! Thanks also to you for helping me keep my stress levels under control this week!

I am VERY VERY behind on blog reading!!! I am sooooo sorry! I will catch up soon!

I am happy to report that in spite of the increased stress this week, I stuck to my diet and stayed under my calorie goal each and every day! Yay!

More soon...

be well...

I Gotta Feeling

2009-09-07T14:51:00.004-04:00

This is for you, Em.

This is for my cousin Karol!

It has been a good weekend. And, I am hopeful for a good week!

I was able to see my friend Fred on Friday night! We had a really nice visit. Talked about his dad. Caught up on life and health issues. But, most importantly we laughed and hugged. Very nice.

Life goes too fast, you need those moments!

Yesterday, Kathy came up to visit with my sweet nephew J and my dad's sister, my Aunt Bea also came to visit! We had a fun afternoon of chit chat, watching the kids play outside and dinner at Houlihan's.

Today, Uncle K is here! We are watching the first half of Yankees day/night double header. We are having a BBQ for dinner with angus hamburgers, hot dogs, and lots of salads! :-)

You know, I haven't really done much all weekend, but it was FABULOUS!

I started a strict calorie driven weight loss program last Sunday. I just ordered a scale so I don't know how I am doing yet, but I do know my weight from my last doc's appt. Hopefully, it will be less than that when the scale arrives on Friday. We will see. I feel good. I am eating healthy. I need to get this prednisone weight off. I have been walking.

I had one day with a lot of pain, but so far so good. The RA is being quiet... Shhhh.... don't wake it. It is such a vicious cycle. You gain weight because of the meds, and when you exercise it aggravates the disease and starts a flare.

However, I have decided that I am going to do my damndest to push thru the pain and hopefully get to the other side. Pray for me. I need it!

My insurance woes are still not settled, hopefully soon, but I could use a few more prayers and positive thoughts there too!

Yikes! I sound so needy!

Sending prayers and happiness out to all of you, too!

Tomorrow, I will be getting the kids settled and organized for the first day of school on Wednesday! I think we are all ready for that! LOL

be well...

Thankful Thursday

2009-09-03T14:15:00.004-04:00

Exactly, dear kitty! Me too!

So, the time has come for me to reflect on the many blessings in my life!

1. Coffee. Hey, some weeks it isn't on the list at all, or near the top. This week - well, it has earned its place. Not a lot of good sleep happening.

2. Friends. So many to thank in so many ways... you know who you are... online, in person, via the phone, via the email. You all rock. Thanks for your support this week.

3. Kids. At least they are healthy and normal enough to bicker with each other! LOL They are wonderful kids, and I have been blessed with the honor of being their mom. I am thankful for that, always.

4. Hubby. You make me laugh, you make me nuts, but you always make me happy that you are there at the end of the day, good or bad. Thank you.

5. My parents. I am so blessed that they share my life on a daily basis. They have helped make what seemed impossible to cope with manageable, and help me keep my sanity on a daily basis.

6. Libby. My sweet puppy. We just had a nice talk which ended in me giving her a some belly rubs. :-)

7. The weather. Yesterday, before dinner, Uncle K, Hubby, Fuzzy and Pumpkin all played some basketball. I sat in the shade and watched. It was a lot of fun. Lots of laughs, trash talk and silliness. Pumpkin claims she was born with a disability that prevents her from doing a lay-up. I told her lack of skill is NOT a disability... hard work can cure it. LOL

8. Orientation. Yesterday, Fuzzy had his high school orientation. He went reluctantly but came out with a great attitude and a new found excitement for the new year that begins on Wednesday! Yay!

Can I ask everyone to pray that there will not be a health insurance glitch this week? Heaven knows most insurance companies would be glad to dodge covering me with the Rheumatoid Arthritis, lupus, and brain tumor. Ack. We do need some kind of insurance reform... don't have the answer as to what... but something... thank you.

I hope that this entry finds you all with a joy in your hearts and a song on your lips!

be well...

Reality

2009-09-02T22:29:00.007-04:00

Missie was looking for some 'family' reality on blogs. I am here now happy to oblige with some snapshots of life at our peaceful abode.

Yesterday, I had to run Hammer and his gal pal to the mall for lunch and window shopping. After I dropped them off and as I tried to drink my coffee in peace, Fuzzy lamented how horrible his summer was and basically how it was all 'my fault'. And, Pumpkin was in a horrible mood because our insurance change (for the third and last time this year!) meant cancelling her eye doc appointment because the cards didn't arrive on time. Oh yes, also my fault.

Thank heavens that Hammer called for me to pick him up after barely an hour.

Now here is where it gets really fun.

I get a text. I am driving, but happen to be stopped at a light a mere two blocks from our street. First text is Pumpkin, basically telling me that Fuzzy is accusing her of hitting him which she did not do and they are fighting. As I am reading this text, the phone buzzes with a text from Fuzzy who says that Pumpkin hit him and that she won't leave apologize or admit it.

No, they are not ages 6 and 8. No, they are not 8 and 10. THEY ARE 12 and 14! ARE THEY KIDDING ME???? They were better behaved at the younger ages. Unfreakingbelievable.

This was the straw that put me over the edge. I did not answer the aforementioned texts. I drove to the mall, picked up Hammer and gal pal and began to drive back.

Buzz buzz. I have a text (that I read at the same red light just almost home now) from Pumpkin that says she is going to be the 'bigger person' and has left the family room and gone to the play room (spare bedroom) far from Fuzzy. Uh huh.

I arrive home 5 minutes later. I say nothing to either child about the texts.

They are eerily quiet. Why? Because they know that when mommy has been pushed over the edge SHE gets eerily quiet. They are in 'tip toe around Mom' mode.

Ding Ding. Pumpkin's lunch is ready to come out of the toaster oven! AND, who shows up and kindly offers to help so she doesn't burn herself? Yes, you got it in one, Fuzzy. They go to eat now back in the same room together.

I make my lunch. I eat my lunch.

Now, I make my move. I walk into the family room and announce to them that they are to 'pause' their tv show. They exchange knowing looks of 'uh oh... here it comes...'

And, it did. I will spare you all the gory details, but let's just say that I don't think I will get anymore texts like the ones I did yesterday anytime soon.

Attitudes properly fine tuned, we went back to our regularly scheduled programming of a nice day for all.

Pumpkin remembered how lucky she is that her dad has a job and health insurance and eyeglass coverage, albeit a little late with the cards. Fuzzy remembered how he was doing EXACTLY what he wanted to do all summer, playing WOW, just hanging out, and that he had multiple chances to go to the pool, mall, friends houses, and movies that he turned down, and that he should be grateful for all he does in fact have and did.

Yes, much better.

Kids... teens... ack. Better Missie?

be well...

Funeral for a Friend

2009-09-02T12:58:00.004-04:00

It's been a rough few days, sad very sad. Can't hide though.

I have one friend that has known me since kindergarten thru thick and thin. (literally) Happy and sad. Young and old. Stupid and smart. In love and out, up and down. Sick and well.

My friend Fred. We met at 4 1/2! We turned 5 one week apart from each other, and all the birthdays since. And, yes, dang it, I am the older one.

10 years ago, at 58, Fred's dad almost died. 6 months of hell, in the hospital and out, and finally, he emerged - determined to live his life to the fullest each day. I was so relieved.

He had ten amazing years more of living life to the very fullest.

Fred's dad died on Friday the 28th, and today, at the church, I said my final goodbye.

Big Fred was like a second dad to me, the family like a second family. I spent many, many days and nights at Fred's house, just a few blocks from mine. Many nights at their country home, a place I loved to visit. Many dinners, and lunches and breakfasts and yummy late nite treats. His sister's were like sisters I never had. We laughed and fought and were silly together. Our dads served on the town's 'auxiliary' police together, our moms were class moms together.

Sure, life gets in the way, and you grow your own family around you with marriage - hubby and kids. My Fred moved to AZ, but the affection, the love it doesn't ever change. It doesn't get less, in fact it grows greater as you watch your own kids and realize just how precious all that shared time together is in one's life. The gift of sharing your childhood dreams and fears and love. I was an only child, Fred, my brother, I didn't have.

So, I helped my friend, my brother, say goodbye to his dad. I said goodbye to his dad. I know it isn't really goodbye - I know that he lives forever on in my memories and in my heart, and in the hearts and memories of his wife, his son, his daughters, his grandchildren and in all those that loved him.

So hard to do, letting go. You can't help but look around you and think of the mortality of those close to you. My mom and dad. I truly can't imagine how hard it must be, and yet I got an unwelcome glimpse this week.

This week I had to see just how awful and hard and impossible it will be.

Yet, Fred will go on. They will all go on. Circle of life and all that... and someday, in the face of my own loss and grief I will go on too.

be well...

Thankful Thursday on Friday

2009-08-28T13:41:00.006-04:00

Chicago was amazing. This is my favorite picture! Hammer laying on top of a dino bone that they leave out for everyone to touch and feel!

On to my thankfuls...

1. Chicago Trip. Just seeing Hammer's face when he finally saw Sue the T-rex after wanting to see her for so very long, was something I will never forget. Hammer said it was his best birthday so far! 17... wow. Where did the time go?

(you can see the pics by clicking the link in the entry prior to this one!)

2. My Dad. He was a great sport thru the entire trip. We pushed and pushed our way thru 2 museums and one Aquarium since the trip was short and we had a lot to cover!

3. My body. It behaved. By Sunday, I had to finally admit to Dad and Hammer they needed to go slower, but it could have been much, much worse. Each night I went to bed early and slept great at the hotel! I was sore and tired since I got home, but this could even be worse too.

4. Hubby. He held down the fort here at home.

5. My Mom. She helped Hubby hold down the fort and treated the kids and Hubby to dinner several times.

6. Uncle K. Even he did his part, by coming to the house early when his work allowed him to and kept the kids company!

7. Facebook. Even Hubby admitted for the first time ever that it was pretty cool and awesome to be able to see the pics uploaded and my comments that were put up on the fly in Chicago. You can do it faster than email which nice. ;-)

It is good to be home. Now, we begin preparations for back to school. The kids don't start until the Wednesday after Labor Day here, but Fuzzy has his high school orientation day next week.

This weekend is supposed to be nasty and rainy, so the plan is to shop for school supplies etc.

be well...

Chicago Trip 8/20 - 25, by Dawn

2009-08-27T11:31:00.003-04:00

I'd like to share my Snapfish photos with you. Once you have checked out my photos you can order prints and upload your own photos to share.

Hey everyone, I am back! Check out the photo album... will post a real one soon!

be well...

Thankful Thursday - A Day Early!

2009-08-19T13:29:00.005-04:00

So, a day early for my Thankful things... why?

Tomorrow myself, my dad and Hammer, my eldest, go on a special trip to Chicago! This is for Hammer's 17 birthday. You may remember that I homeschool him and he has Asperger's Syndrome, an Autistic Spectrum Disorder. Hammer is not yet feel ready or interested in driving yet, and since he has been homeschooled he missed out on the special trips overnight with the school and the graduations, so my mom and dad helped to make this possible!

Hammer has always wanted to visit the Field Museum in Chicago, since he was 5 years old, to see Sue the largest and most complete T-rex dinosaur skeleton. Since then we have also read some great books featuring Chicago and its architecture and history. Some fiction, like Jim Butcher's 'Dead Beat' and some factual like Erik Larson's 'Devil in the White City'.

This is going to be quite a trip! We are going by train! Hammer (as most Aspie's do) loves trains, and so does my dad (hmmm, lol). Sleeper car and everything! We leave from NYC tomorrow afternoon and arrive Friday am in Chicago!

We are also staying at the very historic and newly renovated Blackstone Hotel! Visited by more than 20 US Presidents, and the sight of the coining of the political phrase 'smoke filled room' and where FDR received his third nomination etc.

We are also planning to go to the Shedd Aquarium (adjacent to the Field Museum) and to Navy Pier, which has many recreational activities. We are planning to do a water boat tour, either the historical or the architectural one.

No trip to Chicago would be complete without trying authentic Chicago deep dish pizza! The plan is to hit Lou Malnati's for that, maybe even Friday night!!! And, no Dan, it isn't 'real' pizza, just a different kind, 'deep dish'. 'Real' pizza is what you get in NY and NJ!!!! LOL

Saturday will be our Field Museum day and it is Hammer's birthday. I am not sure where we will go for dinner, but Hammer has already put in a vote for a good steak. ;-)

So, on to the Thankful's...

1. Chicago Trip. And, for my parents making this possible after our financing fell thru when Hubby's old yucky job cut his pay, etc. We are eternally grateful for the memories this will create, of Hammer's dream come true!

2. Coffee. The magical elixir helping me to get packed and ready for said trip!

3. Fuzzy and Pumpkin. For being wonderfully supportive siblings of this trip for their brother, and understanding that this will not be giving him 'more' but simply 'tipping the scales to even'. I am so proud to be your mom!

4. Hubby. For holding down the fort while I will be away. And, for the spectacular job you did Sunday on cleaning out the garage. It is heavenly now!

5. Friends. You are all wonderful... thank you. Those on bookface, those on my email loop, Kathy, Karol... all of you. Wind beneath my wings...

Off to packing and organizing for the trip!

be well...

Love Stinks

2009-08-17T12:54:00.003-04:00

Fuzzy is singing 'Love Stinks' by J. Geils Band at the top of his lungs right now. Thus, the title.

Now, he is yelling at his dead pet on World of Warcraft. :::sigh:::

Pumpkin is on page 14 of a 40 page booklet she needs to complete before school starts September 9th. The last few years she did the book right after school ended, this years she chose to wait. I think she regrets it now because her recall isn't as fresh, but no changing it now!

Hammer is helping me get wash done. I have separated it all, he brings it to the basement, puts it in the machines, switches it, and brings it back for me to fold and organize in piles. Then, Fuzzy puts away his and Hammer's stuff, and Pumpkin puts away hers.

The countdown is on for the final few weeks of our crappy insurance through the cobra from Hubby's old company! Yay! September 1st we will have good coverage again, and I can get my Humira shots approved and get back onto stronger meds! Yay!

So, Monday. Blech. Second cup of coffee downed. Check. Wash started. Check.

Broke up on snarky insult match between Fuzzy and Pumpkin. Check.

Kept the dog from jumping thru window to attack substitute mail carrier. Check. (remember she did go thru a window to get a squirrel a few years back, so we really have to watch out for this...)

Clean up cat puke/hairball. Check.

Checked email and bookface. Check.

That's about all I got today! Not much happening, but what is happening is going as planned. lol

I do have some excitement coming in the second half of the week... more on that later.

Hope your Monday goes smoothly too!

be well...

My Life Would Suck Without You

2009-08-14T00:52:00.006-04:00

Have all you new readers figured out that my titles are always song titles except on Thankful Thursday? Yeah... song titles for blog post titles and lolcats, they are my 'things'.

And, truly, my life would suck without this blog. Tonight, I am unable to sleep right now, and I am awaiting the 'real meds' to kick in so having a little fun seemed to be the thing to do!

What could be more fun than a meme? Okay, let me rephrase that, 'what could be more fun than a meme for someone who is too tired and in too much pain to do more than sit in front of a computer and is married and has a houseful of kids?' YES, you got it! A MEME!

If you could do your wedding all over again, what would be the one thing you would change? I wouldn't have changed a thing. It was perfection.

If you could re-do one room in your house, which would it be and why? I would re-do our bedroom. We have this dream of combining that room and the one next to it and adding a bathroom with a jacuzzi (which I need so badly for my joints), making it into one large master suite. Someday.

If you could go back to high school, what is one thing you would change? I think I would have not taken the two hardest courses in the school at the time, pre-calc and computer programming.

If you had a son born tomorrow, what would his name be? That is easy since we had a boys name picked when Pumpkin Muffin was born - Evan Michael.

A daughter? Brenna Grace

If you had an infinite amount of money and health, how many children would you have? I wouldn't stop until my uterus fell out. I LOVED being pregnant and love kids... seriously, probably 5 or 6. And, since the money was infinite I would have had a nanny for an extra pair of hands. (not too hands on, but for nights and helping out with keeping an eye on them)

If you won the lottery tomorrow what is the first thing you would buy? Easy, another car because right now Hubby and I share one and it is a pain. And, then new ones for both my parents.

If you could have chosen your family how many siblings would you have and be specific about their sex and ages? I would have had an older brother and sister. My uncle Jimmy was like an older brother at 10 years older than me and 10 years younger than my mom, and my cousin Karol was like an older sister at almost 5 years older, so that is what I would want.

What is on your desktop wallpaper? It is that picture above with the coffee and the lady 'Don't make me kill you...' I can't move the picture tonite for some reason! ACK!

What is your favorite zoo animal? This is hard for me because I love so many animals, but I would have to say any and all big cats. I LOVE them! They facinate me because whether it is a mountain lion, tiger or African lion, they all have behaviors just like a domestic house cat. Amazing.

What was your favorite activity in gym class? I didn't have many! LOL Hated running. My favorite was anything with gymnastics! I spent a lot of years taking classes once a week at the school and really loving it when gym got around to it also!

What is on the shirt you are wearing right now? I am wearing a brightly tie dyed Ben & Jerry's shirt bought at their factory last year in Vermont!

What is the picture nearest to you a picture of? I have multiple pictures very close but outside my computer cabinet would be the portrait of all three kids from the cruise 4 years ago. Holy Crap! I can't believe that was 4 years ago already... wow.

What is your favorite salad dressing? Russian if I am feeling really decadent, but ranch is my usual at home.

What do you do on a Sunday night? Depends on the time of year, if it is fall then I am watching Sunday night football with the Hubby. Right now we have been watching True Blood and Hung (not with kids). Or something with the kids!

If you could use only one condiment on your food for the rest of your life what would it be? Ketchup, I guess.

What are the color of your sheets? Either sage green, lavender or beige.

What pair of shoes do you wear most often? Depends on the time of year but they would be Merrells! I go between 2 pairs of Merrell flip flops, one pair of spring/summer/ clogs, one winter pair of clogs and one pair of winter/fall all weather mocs. The best made and most comfortable shoes I have ever owned! Especially, since the RA!

What is your favorite Thanksgiving food? It has to be this amazing onion casserole that Kathy makes! OMG! Buttery heaven with sweet onions... my mouth is watering just thinking about it!

Okay, that was a long one! These questions were cobbled together from some bookface ones. Enjoy!

They worked for me! They got my mind off my soreness and the vicodin is telling me it is safe to try to sleep! LOL

be well...

Thankful Thursday

2009-08-13T12:20:00.004-04:00

It has been a week... that's about all I can say off the top of my head... but I know when I start this week's list, my blessings will come to light!

1. Mia. My friends Bob and Ilene adopted a kitten for their daughter, S. Last night when they brought R, their son, here to stay over they brought sweet little Mia to visit me. I held her and she slept in my arms for over an hour. Such a sweet little kitty. Best thing to happen to me since we returned from lake.

2. Tom. Your hospitality at the lake was wonderful and we had a wonderful time. The silence and beauty of the lake Saturday morning in the sun is something that will revisit in my mind often in times of stress or pain. Thank you.

3. Pumpkin Muffin. My sweet daughter. You have seen that this has been a tough week for your mom and you have tried to take care of me with extra hugs and 'I love you's' whenever you can.

4. Coffee. No way I would moving today without it.

5. Facebook. I have reconnected with some old school friends and have had my faith restored in the kindness of people in general. Thank you. You know who you are...

I should explain why that means so very much to me. Since becoming more actively chronically ill (after Pumpkin's birth), I have lost some friends here in town, and even a cousin, one town away. And, it hurt. I thought after being diagnosed with the brain thingy that maybe it would bring back one particular friend, because at first she seemed to be very concerned and wanting to reconnect. But, that was short lived. Once she found out I wasn't going drop dead any second from it, she ignored me again.

I have found more understanding and kindness from those who haven't seen me in over 20 years... Strange how life can be, isn't it?

6. My mom. The manicure and pedicure you treated me to last Friday before we headed to the lake still looks great! And, everytime I look at my cute pink toes, I smile! Thank you!

7. My dad. For stopping on his way home today to get me a large iced coffee from Dunkin Donuts because today isn't a good day for me. Thank you.

8. Icanhascheezburger.com. For never failing to make me laugh outloud at the new updates, and we all need laughter. Lots of it. :-)

9. Farkle. My new addiction. I even bought the application for my iphone so I can play in on the computer or on the phone! lol

10. Bagel Bites and mini-hotdogs. My kids favorite summer lunches that they make themselves in the toaster oven, and even make for mom sometimes! lol

Well, I am feeling better already. Maybe the stairway to heaven will be open now, or at least purgatory... lol

Off to go watch the kids plus R play Guitar Hero for me! They are going to do 'Crazy Train' as a band. Can't miss it!

be well...

Ob la di ob la da - Life Goes On (meme)

2009-08-11T23:14:00.006-04:00

I really love this lolcat! Every Einstein exhibit or book that mentions the theory of relativity has the same picture of a ball on a matrix pattern, and the kitty on the sheets captures it so well.See? I would need Hammer hear to explain it really coherently but I think you can see how the lolcat plays off of it.

Ok, moving right along then. I am really not feeling great but the Meme Queen cannot disappoint! So, I am pulling out an old one but with a new spin since I am sitting in a new location!

Rainbow around You - Using the colors of the rainbow, list an item you can see from where you are sitting that matches the color.

Red - A lady bug that Pumpkin Muffin made for me at arts and crafts a few years ago that is stuck on the inside of the open door of my computer desk/cabinet.

Orange - A 3x3 inch sign on cork board portion of the open computer door that says 'Women Working' (as opposed to Men Working, found on road crews)

Yellow - Libby, the yellow lab, lying at my feet!

Green - The evergreen candle that is on top of the tv cabinet.

Blue - The file folders hanging on the door inside the computer cabinet!

Indigo - The pencil/scissor holding cup next to the monitor.

Violet - The beautiful amethyst rocks on my fireplace that Kathy brought home from Mexico.

Bonus:

White - My wedding dress in our large wedding portrait.

Black - The black leather couches, but there were many I could have said, like the tv, the computer, etc. lol

Ok, one of you must do this meme. C'mon now, since I have been back only a handful have tried to play along!

I haven't forgotten the recipe either. First, I have to explain about Bungalow Dish. Back in the late 40's my mom's grandmother bought a summer bungalow in Keansburg, NJ, right on the beach. My mom would go with her family which was ever expanding thru the 50's, and this dish was created by a German lady trying to feed a bunch of people on the cheap.

It is now a family classic and it is just simply good plain comfort food.

Bungalow Dish

Brown one pound of chop meat. Cook one pound of elbow macaroni. Cover with approximately 12-16 oz of tomato sauce straight from the can, enough that it is wet but no extra sauce. Cover the top with plain bread crumbs and multiple pats of butter. Bake at 350 degrees for one hour.

Serve with salt and pepper and butter on the side to apply at will.

That's it. Very simple. No herbs, nothing fancy, and yet we all love it!

And, my dad even makes amazing homemade, from scratch pasta sauce, which is awesome, but this is just such a yummy comfort food - we will never give it up! LOL

Okie dokie, time for me to attempt sleep.

be well...

In the Lake

2009-08-10T16:09:00.010-04:00

Yes, kitty, I know!

I have been avoiding stairs today, so far, so good! LOL

What an awesome weekend! We had a blast at Tommy's house. It was so nice to reconnect, see the kids, and just genuinely have fun all together.

Hubby was very wistful on the ride home, wondering how we had all allowed so much time go past without seeing each other. I don't know how either, but life is too short to dwell on what cannot be changed! I do know that we will never allow it to happen again!

Friday night was the county fair and it was really wonderful! The food was a mix of the usual awesome fair junk food and great local fixings! Hubby and I shared pierogis, a cheesesteak and a sausage, peppers, and onions sandwich. Yum! Another fave was a blooming onions! Incredible! We also split funnel cakes with the kids. Hubby and kids had waffles and ice cream and cotton candy.

There were rides, and pig races and animals!

Here are a few pictures:

Saturday was a relaxing day at the lake! Swimming, eating, more swimming, more eating... you get the idea!

Sunday was rainy, so after we took out Tom for a late breakfast we headed home!

Here are a few pics of the lake:

It was a great weekend!

Thank you for all the great comments I have been receiving! I have to say, I am sad that so few people are on blogging lately!

I will post the bungalow dish recipe... just not today! Too pooped to pop! LOL

be well...

Thankful Thursday

2009-08-06T00:30:00.003-04:00

I am in a wistful mood this evening...

I have decided to link my blog into my 'bookface' in order to share my blog with a greater audience. In some ways, this is letting a lot of my 'local' world in to see more of me than they usually do.

Welcome to all that venture over here to check out my musings.

I started this blog originally on AOL journals in March 2005. It was with the intention to help others struggling with the daily wear and tear of rheumatoid arthritis while juggling a family. Instead I found a lot of help and support. Maybe, I gave some too, I'd like to think so.

I also found out that having fun on here doing silly memes and surveys and lists helped me with coping more than one would think! Laughter is the best medicine sayeth Reader's Digest, and they are right!

And, doing a weekly Thankful Thursday entry keeps me grounded and focused on what is really important. No matter what 'curves' life threw at me (thanks, Donna), I was bound and determined to count my blessings.

And, I still am.

So, welcome again and here is this weeks list of thanks!

1. Coffee. Yep. Been one of those weeks! Almost ran out and I was not a happy camper. Tomorrow my Green Mountain automatic delivery will arrive in a nick of time!

2. My Pumpkin Muffin. Yes, I use silly nicknames over here for the kids because I want to keep my blog public, still in hope of helping others. Back to my daughter. It seemed like yesterday that we were playing tea party together and today she was lounging around in pj's all day with cramps. How did that happen?

Tonight, however she was so sweet when watching 'So You Think You Can Dance' when she told me, head in my lap, 'You are soooo comfortable and squishy Mommy.' Who knew that prednisone (ack) could be such a gift! LOL

3. Fuzzy. For seconding Pumpkin's claim that I am the softest, squishiest mom around and I give the best hugs, too. Thanks, sweetheart.

4. Hammer. I am so thankful for all your help, all your love and all your silliness, all at the same time. I don't know if I have ever told you this but thank you for all the laughs the Insecticons bring me!

5. Hubby. Sure, you nabbed the last $ I had to my name from my purse and forgot to tell me about it, and brought me home popcorn that you left on the bus, but it's the thought that counts. Over and over you prove that the thought is 'you love me'.

6. LoLcats from Icanhascheezburger.com. Never fails that at least one of the daily updates will get me to laugh out loud. See an example at the bottom of this entry!

7. Books. Reading has always been a perfect escape for me. Escape, stress reliever, whatever. Today, it was Kat Richardson's 4th book in the Greywalker series called 'Vanished'. It was better than I thought it could be! I recommend her series to all!

8. Bungalow Dish. Yum. A quirky 5 generation favorite passed down from my mom's side, but prepared to perfection by my dad this past Sunday. It rocked, didn't it Kath? Yummmmmmm! Thanks, Daddy!

9. My meds. Better living through pharmaceuticals? Hell yeah! They keep my immune system from wreaking too much damage on my joints and organs. So far... so good. It ain't perfect, and there is not cure yet, but we keep plodding on!!!

10. Tom. A wonderful childhood friend of hubby's and Uncle K's, who is allowing our entire brood to crash at his house, which happens to be on a lake, and is taking us to the Wayne County PA Country Fair this weekend! Yay! Thank you dear Tommy; it should be a blast! (Pray for me that I have the strength to get thru all I want to do this weekend!)

That is it for today. I put the picture at the top of Carpe Diem written in the sand about to washed away to express how I was feeling. Must 'Seize the Day' because it is so fleeting.

be well,

Under Pressure (meme)

2009-08-04T19:17:00.004-04:00

Does everyone remember doing that as a kid! I do! Also did it as an adult! It was hilarious! AND, it worked!

This looks like a fun meme and easy! Just finish the sentences!

My roommate and I once: skinny dipped in our landlords pool in the middle of the night.

Never in my life have I: eaten raw seafood. Eww.

High school was: some of the best of times and the worst of times, and so long ago!

When I’m nervous: I tap my leg.

My hair: needs a haircut.

When I was 5: I had long. blond pigtails.

When I turn my head left: I can see my daughter and Uncle K watching the Yankee game.

I should be: cleaning or organizing something, but here I sit! LOL

By this time next year: I am very hopeful that our financial situation will be much improved.

My favorite planet is: Pluto. You'll always be a planet to me.

I have a hard time understanding: people who don't try to educate and improve themselves. Books are out there for free in libraries, you just have to read them, and want it bad enough.

My ideal breakfast is: is eggs benedict, but instead of Canadian bacon/ham I like it with regular crisp bacon, and a cup of coffee!!!!

If you visit my home town: I will show you the sights and treat you to lunch and have you back to the house for coffee!!!

If you spend the night at my house: you have to be quiet after 9pm during the week because my dad goes to bed early! LOL Just ask all the kids who sleepover - 'Quiet! Grandpa's sleeping!' Grandma too, but she sleeps like a log!

The animal I would like to see flying besides birds: humans! Wouldn't it be awesome!

I shouldn’t have been: so sure I knew everything when I was teenager. Thank heavens somewhere around 22 I started to realize I was not that smart. And, since then with each year that passes, I realize more and more just how little I will ever know.

Last night I: woke up Hubby to 'pay the bills'!!!!

A better name for me would be: there is no better name! My name is sunny and bright and fits!

I’ve been told I look like: both my mom and my dad. :-)

Yesterday, I was: so happy to try Sonic for the very first time, and after three previous attempts to get in. Last night we were waved right in on the second drive by!!! (there were multiple drive by's each and every time prior too, hoping to get waved into the line!!!)

If I could have any car it would be: the seven passenger Land Rover with all the fancy schmancy bells and whistles and a hybrid if they have it!

That was fun! Hope everyone gives this one a try! Easy!

be well...

What I've Done...

2009-08-03T01:08:00.005-04:00

So, on that theme... I am sitting here eating a coconut Dunkin' Donut because tomorrow it will be stale and that would be a shame. Wouldn't it?

Our cat Tina will also eat dog food and occasionally chomp on a piece of a dog biscuit. I will have to post a picture of her 'fatness' and Suzy the 'chubby one' soon. LOL

My nephew's week came to an end today! Karol came to pick D up. It was a really nice week. He and Alex are pretty close and they had a really great time together. They are only 5 1/2 months apart in age, so it is great. It was nice seeing Karol two weeks in a row, also. It was a shorter visit than last week, but still a visit!

Kathy also came up for a visit today and stayed for dinner too! J is getting so big! He is too funny too! Such a LARGE personality in a small package! LOL J is having a wonderful summer in camp and brought us some of the many great projects that he made! The most impressive was a monster clock made of all puzzle pieces! I wish I had taken a picture of it to show off! Dang!

Going backwards to yesterday, we had our friends Bob and Ilene over with their son and daughter. Hubby and Fuzzy cooked burgers, hot dogs and chicken breast on the grill and they brought the salads! We also got this amazing Oreo cake from the restaurant supply store and it was scrumptious! It tasted just like old fashioned ice box cake!!! We adults got quite the kick out of reminiscing about that!

Yesterday was a gorgeous Saturday - the complete opposite to the stormy rainy Sunday that was today. Even so, I have to say that it was a really fun and happy weekend.

I was in pain, my hip was awful all day, Friday and Saturday, and my elbows throbbing too all day today, but when the rest of the world is right, I can suck it up and I did. Tonight though, I am hoping that the vicodin will kick in to help me sleep. Soon.

Off to lay in the bed and give it a shot...

be well...

The Beeyotch is Back - An Ipod Meme

2009-07-30T23:22:00.004-04:00

Ipod Survey

1. Put your iPod on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY?" YOU SAY? "Think I'm in Love" by Eddie Money (I swear, I am not and never was THAT easy! lol)

2. WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY? "Wild Wild Life" by The Talking Heads (my hubby will crack up at this!)

3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? "I Melt With You" by Modern English (This was mine and hubby's song... he did melt me!)

4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? "Faith" by George Michael (gotta have it)

5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE? "What About Love" by Heart (it's all about the love, peoples)

6. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO? "Talk Dirty to Me" by Poison (LOL)

7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? "More Than A Feeling" by Boston (ok...)

8. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TOMORROW?"Ever the Same" by Rob Thomas (yeah, the usual with the kids!)

9. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? "Paranoid" by Black Sabbath (lol)

10. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? "Something to Believe In" by Poison (200+ songs and it repeats Poison? Good song, but still!)

11. WHAT MAKES YOU SAD? "Whip It" by Devo (LOL)

12. WHAT SONG TELLS YOUR LIFE STORY? "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel (I swear I do have non 80's music, really! LOL)

13. WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH? "Mad World" Adam Lambert

14. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE YOUR LOVE? "Come Back to Me" by David Cook (see a 2009 song!)

15. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? "Living After Midnight" by Judas Priest (well, I am an insomniac...)

16. WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT RIGHT NOW? "Run to the Hills" by Iron Maiden (well, a little vacation in Vermont again would be fab!)

17. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? "Wild Horses" by the Rolling Stones (I should just be happy that 'Sympathy for the Devil' didn't pop up! lol)

18. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? "Rock You Like a Hurricane" by the Scorpions (I like science about rocks and weather... works for me!)

19. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET? "All Star" by SmashMouth (well, no I am not hiding any big sports secret in my closet! LOL)

20. HOW FAR WILL YOU GO IN LIFE? "Comfortably Numb" by Pink Floyd (I am comfortable with where I am in life, but hardly numb... interesting!)

Well, this was a fun Meme! The Meme Queen is back, Lyn! LOL I needed something tonight to occupy my time while waiting for the boys, my two, my nephew and a spare friend, and my daughter get settled. They don't need to be asleep, just closer to it. I had to yell up to stop what sounded like some sort of wrestling match twice. ::sigh::

Hey, if I don't actually have to physically get in the middle of it to stop it or mop up blood, then it's all good! LOL Nah... just a little horseplay, no biggie!

I am off to play some online games, check the bookface out and hopefully fall asleep fairly easily tonight!!!!

Oh, and I hope everyone tries the meme!!!

be well...

Thankful Thursday

2009-07-29T23:54:00.009-04:00

This is just such an adorable find... I couldn't resist.

Which leads me to Thankful things and the first one on my list this eveningtide.

1. My Hubby. Tonight Hubby took Fuzzy and Pumpkin Muffin to the bowling alley to have fittings done for their new balls. Nephew D went along and they all threw a quick game after they were done at the pro shop. Hubby knew I had a sore day and stopped at 7-11 to get my favorite potato chips, but they were out. So, he drove to the 7-11 not on the way home, the one past our house and out of the way, to get them for me. Very sweet. It's the 'little things' that mean a lot.

2. All of you. J-land Refugees. My Blogging Buddies. Thanks for welcoming me back with open arms! I know I would get back here eventually but wasn't sure anyone would care! I am so happy you still do!

3. Coffee. In the face of all this rain, medication issues etc, it has been my 'mommy's little helper'! LOL

4. My parents. Their patience and the safety net they provided in our moments of panic and need were well timed and freely offered as always. They are the rocks with which we build our family foundation on and they are so appreciated by both myself and my Hubby. Beyond words...

5. Lock n Roll. A mindless game I play on my iphone that helps me fall asleep at night!

6. Your kinds words, prayers and good thoughts for Uncle K. I am really hopeful that good things start to flow his way and soon.

7. My nephew D. He is such a goofball and a sweetie and I really have fun during the week he stays with us each summer. I hope he never grows 'too cool' to come hang at Aunt Dawn's.

8. My two K's, BFF Kathy and Cousin Karol. My gal pal support. Thank you both for always being there.

9. Illness. Yes, you rheumatoid arthritis, lupus, and brain thingy. You are a pain, you bring pain, yet you bring clarity. You force me to see what is really important at a very basic level EVERY SINGLE DAY.

Not everyone has that. I am blessed.

Just a couple of quick notes and shout outs...

Joann and all, snag away, my pics are from http://www.icanhascheezburger.com/

All the facebook peeps; I can't friend you, too much kid stuff on there. But I promise to be more 'here' again! At least once a week! If not more.

be well...

ps... About the Kindle. I still buy my fave authors books that I collect or books we all share, but there are a lot I would buy and then give away or pass on to others and this saves me some money. Plus it is soooooo easy on my hands and wrists and with the RA that is awesome!

Meme... 25 Random Things

2009-07-27T17:25:00.004-04:00

I nabbed this from Bill's facebook! Thanks Bill!

25 Random Things - Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

1. I prefer to do this kind of thing here on my blog!

2. I really love to write.

3. Even though I love NYC and have been there many many times, I have only ridden the subway a few times, maybe 3, and only with my Hubby!

4. I have never camped out in a tent, and probably never will.

5. My favorite perfumes are Shalimar and Chanel No. 5.

6. I rarely wear perfume due to Fuzzy's allergies/asthma but I do wear a daily coconut body spray from Bath and Body Works. The kids call it 'the mommy smell'. lol

7. I miss being able to work for the instant gratification of performing a job well and getting that recognition, but know that I can't do it anymore, at least not outside the house.

8. I love teddy bears.

9. I enjoy reading Boy's Life, the Scouting magazine, each month when it arrives.

10. I have an Amazon Kindle and it is AWESOME!!!

11. I am a daddy's girl (which is why I have a Kindle, lol)

12. I consider my mom one of my best friends!

13. I loved being pregnant, and if I hadn't ended up with RA/Lupus etc, I would have looked into being a surrogate to help infertile couples.

14. I enjoy playing video games, listening to music and having fun with my kids!

15. My pets are like little people to me!

16. I love action movies and movie adaptations of comics. I have a 'guys' taste when it comes to movies. lol

17. I love history and like movies that retell historical moments or are historical fiction. Same thing with books.

18. I am a bit of a science geek too.

19. I will turn on Nickelodeon or Boomerang to watch a favorite cartoon occasionally when home alone!

20. My dad has three tattoos from his time in the Navy, two are cartoon characters and one is the date he crossed the equator for the first time, a big deal for a sailor.

21. I don't have any tattoos, but if I did I would get 'Carpe Diem', on the side of my ankle, or inside my wrist.

22. I sometimes use daily wear contact lenses.

23. The kids and I all have blue eyes, each with a different shade. Hubby has beautiful hazel green with yellow and light brown flecks.

24. Pumpkins favorite color is PURPLE. Fuzzy's is BLUE. Hammer's is SILVER.

25. I don't really have one favorite color anymore! Really!

Okie dokie... now I TAG... all of you! Everyone should try to do this! In fact, Bill, you should post yours on here too for all to see!

be well...

Wishing and Hoping

2009-07-27T16:34:00.002-04:00

I just loved the look of horror on this kitteh's face! LOL

So, anyhow it was a nice weekend. My nephew is here with us for his annual summer visit for a week. It should be fun and I am hopeful the weather will cooperate!

Helping someone who doesn't want help, someone who wants to wallow in their negativity, in their anger, is very hard.

Hubby's bf who is going through a really rough time right now is in a bad place. Since before the holidays we have been giving him as much support as we can. Emotionally, but also a place to crash when needed and lots of company etc. He has hit a really rough patch right now and it sucks. Hubby and I are angry on his behalf and frustrated also. It sucks.

If you could send prayers and positive thoughts, I would appreciate it. Uncle K as we will refer to him here, needs to come out on the other side of this determined to accept what he can't change and fight like hell for the things he can.

I woke up with a sinus/migraine/allergy headache thing and it just won't quit. ACK!!!

More thunderstorms will be moving thru our area soon... I am so sick of rain!!!

be well...

Since You've (actually, I've) Been Gone

2009-07-24T00:10:00.004-04:00

I'm Baaaaaaaaaaaacccccckkkk!

Did you miss me? I did miss you all! And, I lurked here and there just to make sure all was well, but probably not as often as I should have done.

It was a combination of things that made me take a break from blogging and I have to say there was not one thing to blame more than another.

Mostly, I was in a rut. And, our computer situation had been very kooky.

I will be back now, but I don't think I will blog as much as before and definitely not now with the kids home for summer.

A quick update is in order for sure!

The kids are all good. Fuzzy graduated from 8th grade and will begin high school in September. He was on honor roll for all 4 marking periods this year! He didn't make it into the charter high school that he wanted to attend and was quite disappointed. But, as they say, it was a character building experience. He has one merit badge to complete before beginning to work on his Eagle Scout project.

Which brings us to Hammer, who HAS completed his last merit badge and will shortly begin research to start his Eagle Scout project proposal. Hammer will be 17 in a month, however he is not ready to learn to drive and we are just okie dokie fine with that. In fact, I am very proud of him that he realized that he is just not ready. Next month, my dad, Hammer and I will be taking a train trip to Chicago to visit the Field Museum. This is something Hammer has wanted to do since kindergarten and I am very happy to be finally getting this done! lol

Pumpkin completed 6th Grade with flying colors! She was on the Distinguished Honor Roll for all 4 marking periods which was her goal at the beginning of the year! All of her final grades were 96 and above and we couldn't be more proud! Unfortunately, she is on a break from piano, but I am very hopeful that she will return to it soon.

Hubby has finally left his awful company and hooked up with a wonderful new firm, just this June. I am very relieved and this promises to help alleviate some of our financial woes as time passes. All good things.

Now, for me. I am still very happy and counting my blessings daily! Health wise has been a bit of a struggle. I began to become sensitive to the Enbrel and began to have an allergic reaction which came to a head in April. I saw my rheumatologist in May and she wants me to start taking Humira instead. All at the same time as the insurance was trying to get approval, Hubby's old company changed insurance and then he left them, putting us on cobra, and starting September 1, we will have a new insurance.

Long story short no Humira until then which has resulted in a few flares for me. So far I have had to do 2 tapers of prednisone, which sucks, but it had to be done.

Oh, and the brain thingy is still there, but still not growing. So far. Yay.

So there you have it. Some good, some bad. And, it could ALWAYS be worse!

Right now the kids are home and we are enjoying summer!!! No schedule, later bedtime, lots of reading. It has been really nice. The kids had Scout Camp last week and had a blast. Pumpkin even went along (registered through Campfire Girls) and stayed with them. She had a tough time with the bugs and came home midweek with me on visitation day. I couldn't blame her. All the rain we had in NJ has created quite the bug fest. Eww.

So, that is that! Tomorrow, I hope to pop on and catch up with some of your blogs.

Oh and I still love my coffee as always!!!

And, I love facebook. I am sorry if I have not friended you but I have a lot of family and kid connections on there and I am trying to keep it more private than here, just something I feel I need to do!

be well,
Dawn

2009-07-03T16:33:00.001-04:00

From My House to Yours...

2008-12-25T11:20:00.002-05:00

Merry Christmas!

I will be back in the New Year!

May all your holiday dreams come true

and may 2009 be filled with blessings!

Love,

Dawn and family!

The Gambler (Returns!)

2008-11-24T12:37:00.008-05:00

I'm baaaack!!!

Omg, you have all been very busy! I cannot go back and read everything without a time-stopper, but I will try to catch the new ones!

Although this is a busy week, too!

First thing is first... Atlantic City was awesome! Truly an adult playland! Lots of fun had by all! Especially my mom, since she was winning! I was up, then down, then up, then down, and on the last night back up! Mom let me keep that last night's winnings.

I promised to spend it on myself, and I did. Books! Yay!

We also had lots of great food! 4 and 5 star restaurants... yum! Il Verdi, Cuba Libre, and The Palm. Also, lunch at the Irish pub, Ri Ra!

Kathy joined us Thursday and stayed overnight. It was so much fun to just play and eat and drink together! No kids! No Hubby's! Just us three girls!

The kids and all the pets were thrilled to see us when we got home! Only one traumatic event happened while I was gone. The kids went to Boy Scouts and all the boys were playing football. And, Pumpkin Muffin. She tackled Fuzzy and somehow hyperextended his elbow. Again. Same one he injured playing 'real' football 2 years ago. Hubby had to take him to the pediatric orthopedist. Fuzzy is fine, but needs to be in a sling for two weeks total. Never a dull moment!

My birthday was very nice! We had dinner at the Grand Lux Cafe. The kids gave me a Starbucks gift card, and Hubby had already given me the iphone. My parents had bought me some clothes, my mom took me away, and I got to keep some winnings. Kathy gave me and itunes gift card!

A great birthday booty! 43! I am clinging to saying 'early 40's' but I am pushing it! LOL

This week will be busy! Yesterday and today, I am mostly trying to rest. I rested in AC when I needed to do so, but I needed more once I got home. All in all, the rheumatoid arthritis behaved pretty well! Thank goodness for the vitamins, they are really helping. And, taking a pain killer helps when needed, too.

I have an appointment for bloodwork on Wednesday followed by an award ceremony at the school. Both kids made the honor roll, with Pumpkin on the 'distiguished'. All good! I am very proud of them!

Thanksgiving will be here, too! We go to Kathy's house and I am really looking forward to it! I will be making and bringing my maple glazed carrots!

Okay... gotta go!

be well...

Thankful Thursday

2008-11-14T00:46:00.003-05:00

Ahh... Thankful Thursday... you do like to sneak up on me! Like now, very late on Thursday... actually Friday am! I am having trouble relaxing because I needed to drink an extra cup of coffee at about 4pm today, and now the caffeine has me up.

I drank it in order to have a little extra 'oomph' because tonight we had a high school 'open house' to attend with Fuzzy. It was good, but long. Whew.

Here are my thankfuls...

1. I am thankful for Hubby, and that the biggest complaint I have about him is that he is a big baby.

2. I am very thankful for coffee! Especially, GINGERBREAD! Yay! It is a seasonal k-cup that I can only get for my Keurig coffeemaker during November, December and January! My first cup of it yesterday was just heavenly! I made a big deal out of it and Hammer was laughing at my lunacy as I turned the first cup into a momentous occasion!

3. I am thankful that on Monday I will be heading to Atlantic City with mom! YAY!

4. I am thankful for my upgrade to the iphone so I can keep in touch with home easier while I am away! I will send them pictures and texts and emails.

5. I am thankful for my early birthday/Christmas clothes from my mom and dad since I needed some new winter things and I can wear them next week on my trip first! (ps... My birthday is coming up on 11/22, since a few of you asked)

6. I am thankful for my kids and my family and my wonderful busy life! And, although it has kept me away from the keyboard, I know you are here and will be here when I am able to get back and catch up properly!

7. I am thankful that I have good healthcare and access to medicines that are helping me to manage my chronic issues! Today, I would never have made it all day and through and 2 1/2 hour Open House without the aid of vicodin. I was really hurting, but after the vicodin I was able to focus on my son and all the info that I needed to absorb tonight.

I will be keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers! This may be my last post until somewhere around 11/24! I will try to pop in and leave a quickie if I can, but if now, know that I am okay!

Maybe I will even win some money in AC! Wish me luck!

be well...

The Long Run

2008-11-10T22:02:00.004-05:00

It was quite a weekend around here!

Friday, my cousin Karol and bf/sister Kathy came to visit with children in tow. We had a really nice get together! Lots of coffee, donuts, and chit chat! Then, the teenaged boys stayed in with McD's, and the rest went to dinner. It was very nice. Especially for my mom, whose birthday was the next day.

Saturday, for the first time in close to 20 odd years, my mom, dad, and I went out to dinner for my mom's birthday! Just the three of us! We went to a posh local Italian restaurant and ate like royalty! Yum!

Hubby was away with the kids on a scout camping trip. Pumpkin was able to go because it was camp tenting. It was her first time, and she had fun! In spite of the rainy weather, they were able to have 2 great campfire cooked meals and S'mores!

I got an upgrade on my cell phone to an iphone as an early birthday present today from Hubby and the kids and I am having fun playing with it!

Sunday was our anniversary. It wasn't Shakespeare and roses, but it was okay. Dinner was out at Houlihan's with the kids and my parents. A combo celebrating Grandma's birthday, which they missed, and our anniversary.

Hubby was the one who screwed up and actually scheduled the camping trip on our anniversary. I was not happy. I figured that knowing that, he would come home and take me to lunch or at least coffee together alone, trying to squeeze in some romance.

Oh no. Instead, he came home overtired, cranky, slept on the couch for most of the day, when not watching football, complained about how his hands hurt, and has been snippy with me on and off since then.

As you can imagine, this sunk the sails on the 'Love Boat' pretty fast. Happy freakin' 17th! Today, he is still the same bundle of overtired sludge and complaining about his poor arthritic hands.

Yeah. Complaining to me. Who lives with that all the time, 24/7. He promptly fell asleep at 9:30pm on the couch because being in pain makes you tired. Really? No foolin'? Imagine that. And, it makes it hard for you to sleep too? Wow. AMAZING. If you didn't tell me I wouldn't know. Okay, enough sarcasm for tonight! lol

So, as you can see, I am not particularly happy with him right now.

I can't wait to go to Atlantic City next week with my mom. It is the biggest treat to get away and have the special time together that we get then. It is a HUGE break for me which is really nice.

I just let the dog out and stood on my back stairs admiring the crisp air and gorgeous clear skies and big bright moon. Just magical.

My hubby may be wallowing in his mire and trying to sink me into it, but I refuse to go there!

I am still wayyyy behind reading journals! Ack! This time of year is so crazy for me, I will do my best! Hopefully, tomorrow will be quiet.

be well...