Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Surrender


I have my own version of Fantasy Island.


I am on a gorgeous tropical island. There is no Tatoo, just me screaming to the heavens, 'Da pain, Da pain!'


With that, a shirtless Wolverine (Hugh Jackman, for the uninitiated in comic based movies) arrives at my side, waves his beefcake arms and...


POOF!


The pain disappears, I return to my pre-diseases self (lose near about 80 lbs and some wrinkles), turn to my Hubby and kids laughing, and we head to the beach to the live happily ever after.


Yeah. NOT LIKELY TO HAPPEN.


So, instead, I realize today that yes, after suffering with this nightmare flare for the last week and a half (although it has been building longer) I will give in and go for the prednisone taper.
Surrender.


I hate taking the vicodin but I have been and you know its bad when doubling up ain't cutting it. That was always the benchmark that my original rheumy recommended.


For those who don't like TMI, avert your eyes now, for the brave, stay for a glimpse more.


It has been so bad that I have been avoiding washing my hair. Today, I suffered thru it the first time since Sunday. It was awful. Elbows screaming while shampooing and rinsing and conditioning. Feet hurting from the tension of clinging to my balance.


Thank heavens I am blond and sparse in the hair department. No leg shaving happening this week either. I could go for about 3 weeks before anyone would ever notice. BUT, I know.


Usually nothing stops me from shaving the 15 stubbly hairs under my arm, because Hubby HATES hair. It's a thing with him. Actually gags when they show the girls on Survivor with underarm hair. I laugh at him. Anyhow, I always, always, always do that shave - unless it is in the midst of the flare from hell.


Yep. No shaving the pits today. Bending the elbows more than I had to do for the hair? No way. Holding that small handle in my sore hands? Nah uh. Not gonna happen.
Yep. Time to surrender.


Thankfully, I have the prednisone in the house. Will probably do 60-40-30-20-10 -5mgs. I won't sleep the first night because of the jitters. Second night, I may get some winks of sleep but it will be fitful and full of nightmares. By 24 hours in I will become voraciously hungry. And, thirsty which means lots of potty trips. Ugh.


BUT, but about day 3 I will start to realize... wow, my joints are not as sore and I am able to move better and with less pain.


Yay.


New rheumy thinks this is more Lupus and Fibro than RA. Old rheumy thought more RA, maybe lupus, probably Fibro too.


I think it all SUCKS.
Surrender.


Thank heavens for the COFFEE.


be well...

13 comments:

Indigo said...

Here's to hoping today and the next few get better. Your in my thoughts dear friend. (Hugs)Indigo

Sugar said...

it does suck! big time! hope you feel better, a prayer going up.
huggies...

Cathy said...

It's so obvious you found a way to compromise with your pain, kudos to you for that I know it's far from close to simple. I join you in that Jackman fantasy only mine includes Kevin Sorbo in full Hercules regalia. I sometimes think I've made a pact with my neuropathy, as you have with your particular hell. Then the day comes when you realize o man, I still can't wash my hair because my arms won't stay above my head long enough lol. Or the foot I can't feel what a riot, I don't know where it is unless I look down. This entry made me smile, I still am. Thanks for that!

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

Coffee Rocks :o)

Marty said...

Hi Dawn,
I sure hope the meds work!
Best,
Marty

That corgi :) said...

I'm so sorry Dawn. I know it might be painful to get there, but can you go into a beauty shop to get your hair washed during flares?

sorry that you have to take the prednisone; I know it carries its side effects, etc but if it helps get over the flare, it might help a bit??????

hugs to you......

betty

ADB said...

Hope the taper is beginning to work, Dawn. It doesn't matter which auto immune disorder is giving you hell: you are having hell, and that's all that matters. And getting out of hell pronto. Never mind the hair.

Hollie said...

I'm so sorry for all that you are going through. Praying for you.

Missie said...

I sure hope you feel better soon. I know you don't like taking steroids, but it really makes those pains much better. Sending you some hugs, but not hugging too tight. Don't want to make you hurt!

Traci said...

That's too much pain to endure! I'm so sorry. Hope the meds don't make you too crazy!

Beth said...

I was happy to see on FB that the pain is easing. Thinking of you, my friend. Hugs, Beth

Toon said...

I hope you're doing better as I type this! I'm back in blogland again. Missed you.

Russ

Anonymous said...

Yes exactly, in some moments I can phrase that I agree with you, but you may be considering other options.
to the article there is quiet a definitely as you did in the go over like a lead balloon a fall in love with delivery of this beg www.google.com/ie?as_q=ashampoo photo commander 6 ?
I noticed the utter you have not used. Or you use the black methods of development of the resource. I suffer with a week and do necheg